Should You Put 'and Guest' on Your Save the Dates?

save the date

Photo by Flora & Flauna

Once you sit down to address your save the dates, there's one very important detail you may be wondering about: Should you put "and guest" on the envelope? Save the dates are ideally sent out six to eight months before the wedding, and at that point, you might not have even hammered out your headcount. For that reason, handing out plus-ones on your save-the-dates can be a premature move. Sometimes, however, it makes sense to include a plus-one on your save-the-date.

Read on for some clear-cut examples of when and when not to include a plus-one.

When to Include a Plus-One on Save the Dates

  • Anyone who is married or in a serious relationship should be given a plus-one right from the start, no questions asked.
  • It's polite to give members of the bridal party a plus-one regardless of their relationship status, so they, too, should be given a plus-one immediately.
  • If you've squared away your wedding budget and venue, and therefore already have a very good grasp on the space and funds you have to accommodate plus-ones, you're in a position (even at this early juncture) to give them out accordingly.

If you choose to include a plus-one, opt to actually name the person rather than just adding "and guest." If you use "and guest," that leaves the plus-one open to anyone the guest chooses. It's more personal (and saves you some potential surprises) to specify who the plus-one actually is.

When Not to Include a Plus-One on Save the Dates

  • At this point, consider not offering plus-ones for guests who are casually dating or single.
  • You've chosen a date, but not a venue—and therefore have no idea how many people you can fully accommodate.
  • You've chosen a date and venue, but your budget isn't finalized—meaning you need to see how many plus-ones you can afford.

When you're ready to send your actual wedding invitations out (approximately eight weeks before the wedding), you can add plus-ones as you see fit. For example, at that point you may have found out that several people you invited are unable to make it, freeing up seats for plus-ones. On the other hand, your guest list might have multiplied since you began, and you'll have even less room for plus-ones. That's why it's helpful to wait—because once you do offer a plus-one, you can't take it back.

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