You can choose your best friends, but you can’t choose your family. The same goes for your partner’s BFFs: You could be selective when it came to who you are marrying, but there’s nothing you can do about the people they call their best friends. That being said, do you have to actually be friends with them, or simply be friendly? Our experts weigh in.
While there’s no hard and fast rule that you must be friends with your partner’s friends, being friendly is super important. After all, if you’re marrying your partner and they’re your partner’s BFF—so you’ve got at least one thing in common!
Instead of trying to force a friendship, let it develop naturally. Start slow, making a point to make conversation with your partner’s friends when you’re all together. Use this as a chance to find some common ground, whether it’s the industry you work in, a shared interest, or a personality trait that brings you together—you know, the same way you’d make any other friend! And of course, you can always talk about your partner and what makes them so great!
There’s a chance your partner’s best friend might be a little protective, especially if they’ve known one another longer than the two of you have been dating, but don’t take it personally. Instead, see it as a sign that your partner is worth protecting and cherishing, which is exactly what you want in a spouse.
See More: What to Do When You Hate His Best Man
If you and your partner’s friends don’t hit it off right away, don’t sweat it. However, if you’ve experienced some sort of conflict with the friend in question, turn to your spouse for advice. Maybe there’s a situation or topic you should avoid, or maybe the friend is dealing with something beyond your control. And if it’s more than that, work with your spouse to find a way that they can maintain their friendship without negatively impacting your relationship. You don’t have to be friends, but enemies is definitely something to avoid.