Getting married doesn’t just mean that you’ve said "I do" to one special person, it means that you’ve opened your heart, your arms, and your world up to all the special people in their life, too. One person, who you might have already grown to know very well, for better or for worse, is the mother of the person you’re about to marry.
Perhaps she’s been generous throughout the wedding planning process, offering help and giving you comfort when you’re feeling stressed. Or perhaps she’s made the stress pop out even more, with endless tasks for you and opinions that seem to clash. Either way, before the wedding day happens, here are the six conversations you should have with the mother of the groom.
1. Are There Any Special Traditions?
One of the best conversations to have with the mother of the groom is about traditions. Perhaps there were some special traditions she had at her wedding or that have been in the family for years and years. Ask if there are one or two that would mean a lot of the family if you included them.
2. How Many Guests Do You Want to Invite?
Talk numbers with the mother of the groom. If you’ve already decided to keep your headcount at a certain number, be sure to let her know how many guests she’s able to invite. Try to do this early on, or else you can be faced with the aftermath of her already pre-inviting 100 people when you only have room for 40.
3. What Would You Like to Help Out With?
Delegate tasks to your future mother-in-law. Ask her to take on projects or tasks that you know she’d be interested in helping with and also really great at. Perhaps she can be in charge of decorating the rehearsal dinner, doing the seating chart for the groom’s side of the family, or going dress shopping with you if she has an incredible fashion sense.
4. What Are You Planning on Wearing?
It’s always best to know what the mother of the groom is planning on wearing, especially if you have a color scheme that you’re hoping the wedding party sticks to. If you have a certain color you want her to wear, or don’t want her to wear, be sure to give her that information early on before she finds the dress of her dreams.
5. What Are You Hoping We Include?
If you’re dealing with a mother of the groom who has more opinions than anyone else when it comes to your wedding, have a conversation around what are the main two or three things she wants you to have at your wedding. Let her narrow it down to just a few things so that you can be clear the rest of the decisions are yours. This might be a sticky conversation to have, so remember to stay grounded and polite during it, letting her know you appreciate her help and ideas but want to make sure this wedding has the personality of yourself and your groom.
6. Do You Have Any Advice for Me?
A sweet conversation to have with the mother of the groom right before the wedding is to ask her for any advice she has. This advice can be on marriage, on spending your life with her son, or just on how to maintain a good relationship. Asking her for this kind of advice can help you and her son become closer and also make her feel valued and appreciated before the big day arrives.