Why You and Your Fiancé Should Consider a Wedding Day Contract

So things run smoothly

Updated 03/31/18

Photo by Logan Cole

Your wedding day is something that you and your fiancé plan for months and that you may have been dreaming of for years. But on the actual day, the hours you share with your closest friends and family members, busting out dance moves on the dance floor and clinking together glasses of celebratory champagne, flies by faster than you could ever imagine. That’s why making the most of your wedding day isn’t about obsessing over whether every single detail is in place or that every single person is enjoying the party with a giant smile on their face. It’s about your time together as a newly married couple and having the time of your lives at your celebration.

So before you say your I dos, you may want to sit down together and agree on how you’re going to handle both the little things and the big things that might happen on your wedding day that could potentially pull you away from being as present as possible. That's where a wedding day contract comes into play. You can make it as strict or as low-key as you like, but it's often a good idea to get your thoughts down on paper so you and your partner are on the same page on the big day. Start with the four agreements below to get started on a wedding day contract that works best for you.

How to Handle Pop-Up Problems

No wedding day is spared from something going wrong, even if it’s the littlest thing, like forgetting your favorite lipstick at home or picking out the wrong tie from the closet. Before your wedding day arrives, decide on how you’re going to handle pop-up problems, whether that means you both spend two minutes venting about your frustration and then moving on, or just finding a way of laughing about it, remembering all of the good things and people you are surrounded by.

What to Do When Family & Friends Go Awry

With all of your friends and family members in the same room—a room that usually is filled with free-flowing alcohol—sometimes things can happen with guests at your wedding. Those things can include mini-fights (or full-blown), a guest brings a plus one who wasn't invited, or people just get a little too rowdy. Chat about what your game plan will be when a guest does something that makes you upset. Perhaps that means you delegate one or two people (your MOH or Best Man?) to be on the lookout for any potential problems and have them be the point people if anything gets out of hand.

How to Spend Time Together on the Wedding Day

On your wedding day, the champagne will be flowing, the dance floor will be beckoning, and you’ll have so many guests to say hello to and take photos with. Which is why a lot of couples end up barely seeing each other on their wedding day. Make a rule that suits you best about how to spend quality time together on your wedding day. Perhaps it is that you greet all the guests together by going up to each table during dinner, or you make sure that on the dance floor you boogie side by side, or you just have a secret tap on the shoulder that means let's go have a quiet, private moment together.

The Game Plan to Pull the Other Person Out of a Funk

Your wedding day comes with a lot of emotions—from feeing over-the-moon happy to jittery and nervous, to feeling upset that the big day is almost over, it's a rollercoaster from start to finish. Because of those emotions, you might find yourself in a funk throughout the wedding day. Have a code word that only you and your fiancé know about, so if one of you is feeling down or needs a break from it all, both of you can sneak off to some place quiet, take a deep breath, grab a snack, and regroup before heading back out.

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