Fighting with your spouse is ... inevitable. According to past research, couples have, on average, 312 arguments a year. That's a lot of squabbling! Here are the most common kind fights newlyweds have, and what you can do to navigate your way out of them—fast!
__1. "You spent $400 on that!?": __It's bound to happen. He'll either inquire about something you've purchased (i.e., "Why did you have to spend that much money on shoes?") or you'll wonder why he didn't consult you first before dropping a fortune on season tickets. Relationship experts warn that arguments about money are common and can become toxic to a relationship, so it's best to address them immediately.
After the fight: Use this argument as a bridge to rational and open conversations about each of your spending habits and financial goals. Discuss how you can you be more in sync with your finances while also retaining freedom.
2. "There's no way we're buying this vase—it's awful!" Any newlywed will tell you that home decor disagreements were a big part of their first year. And we're certain that the sales people at Target see plenty of doozies in the home decor section. The thing is, just because you're madly in love with each other doesn't mean your home style ideas will be aligned and it's going to take some fighting, and compromising, to figure it all out.
After the fight: He likes modern, you like traditional. While it may seem like an impasse, successful couples know that decor compromise can happen, and your living room doesn't have to suffer for it. Try this: Offer him a room or two to decorate, and you can do the same. Or, divide and conquer: Make him in charge of paint colors and you can be on furniture duty. Each partner has veto power, but when each partner has some autonomy in the decor process, there are less likely to be squabbles and more likely to be compromise. (P.S. The 5 wedding details men care about most ... they may surprise you!)
3. "My parents are coming to stay this weekend ... again." Even if your in-laws are angels who you genuinely love spending time with, having house guests can be stressful on you and your relationship. And when the guests are sprung on you, it can bring up feelings of annoyance. After all, why couldn't he have given you some advance warning, given that you already made weekend plans? And doesn't he understand that having the in-laws for the weekend means you'll need to spend your Friday-night cleaning and meal-planning. Yay!
After the fight: Discuss your boundaries with him, and how you appreciate when he consults with you before saying yes to weekend guests (whether they're his best friends or his parents). Of course, you want your home to be welcoming, but make sure he understands that an open-door policy puts stress on you.
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