Your wedding is supposed to be the happiest day of your life, so why are you feeling so down in the dumps in the months and days leading up to your big day? Blame it on the drama, stress and all the nitty-gritty details and endless decision-making that go into creating your dream wedding. If the pressure of planning is starting to mess with your mind and mood, here are five foolproof ways to fight back and nip those pre-wedding blues in the bud so you can actually enjoy the process.
1. Visualize the Perfect Day
According to Hypnotherapy Coach Danna Pycher, who specializes in depression, creatively visualizing the perfect day will not only create excitement for the wedding, but it'll also alleviate the stress surrounding the details. Why? "When we dream about an upcoming event, we can actually picture the details that we want and then work backwards from there," she explains. "This eases stress because we can already see the wedding happening in our mind flawlessly and take action as to what would, in reality, be included."
2. Focus on the Sensation of the Depression Itself
Look inward, and ask yourself where it's actually coming from, physically speaking, suggests Pycher. Is it in your chest, your stomach or your throat? "All of these places hold tension and there are methods to relieve it by fully removing the emotion linked to that tension," she says. For example, focus your awareness on the feeling you may have in your chest and give that sensation a color, a shape and a name (anything that comes up is fine)." Instead of concentrating on the heaviness of the depression you've now created new ways for your mind to connect to the feeling. Keep focusing on it until you literally feel it move up and off your chest, she advises. This may be a quick or slow process. "After you've 'moved' the feeling then imagine putting the sensation in a colored balloon and watching it float away."
3. Delegate Items on Your To-Do List
We're looking at you, perfectionists! While planning a wedding may be super stressful, remember that you don't have to do it all by yourself. Take some of the pressure off by delegating items on your to-do list to your wedding planner, groom, trusted family members or friends in the bridal party, recommends Erika Martinez, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist in Miami, FL. "Tell them exactly what they need to do, ask, confirm or look for, then let them help you."
4. Build in Some Much-Needed Breaks
If you need a break, by all means, take it, says Long Island-based licensed marriage and family therapist Meredith Silversmith, MA, LMFT. There's a lot to get done in a set amount of time, but if you're feeling overwhelmed, it's best to step back and designate a "no wedding zone". "This can be an hour, a day or even a week, depending on the circumstances."
5. Say Yes to Pre-Marital Counseling
This will give you and your partner the opportunity to talk about the common big issues in a relationship before they happen, tells Martinez. "Laying the groundwork for an adaptive overall plan for the marriage can soothe pre-wedding blues. Unfortunately, many couples don't know how to have these conversations or keep their head out of the sand because there's already conflict," she notes. If the stress of planning is dragging you down and you're lashing out at your partner or fighting a lot, pre-marital counseling can provide you with the proper tools to communicate and get what you want without letting anger or depression get the best of you.