It’s easy to forget about the little, meaningful things in your life with all the hustle and bustle that comes with wedding planning. While the grand details that you’ve been thinking about for (what feels like forever) may trick you into thinking that they trump anything else, have a little perspective. Nothing could be so important that it leaves the people around you feeling hurt and possibly angry. Remember, this may be your moment, but once the day has come and gone, where would you be without your friends and family?
One detail that you might get a little too hung up on is how you want your bridal party to look. A lot of brides get a tad obsess-y about their bridal party looking organized, with everything from dresses to makeup styles coming under the matchy-matchy microscope. This might start off by you mandating what kind of bridesmaids dresses to pick, from the style, to the color, to the length, to the designer. You might then decide that you want all of your bridesmaids to look exactly like one another, having them wear the exact same shoes, jewelry, and hair style.
You might even find yourself telling the makeup artist to glam up each bridesmaid with the exact same shade of eye shadow, lipstick, and blush, even if their skin tone, or preference is something else.
While you can explain to each bridesmaid that you really would like to have an organized and uniform look between them all, there are some things you cannot ask them to do. One of those things: covering up their tattoos. This is a major no-no.
Your main objection might be that you’re worried that one bridesmaid who has tattoos will stand out in photographs or ruin your overall look, or that she might take some of the attention or eyeballs off of the main event, AKA you.
So while that might bother you a lot and you are thinking up the right way to tell the bridesmaid to cover up her visible tattoos, it’s best if you just don’t.
See more: The Zero-Drama Guide to Bridesmaids
Asking your bridesmaids to cover up their tattoos is not only something that could be offensive to them but it’s something that tells them—without directly telling them—that you don’t care about their uniqueness and disapprove of how they choose to express that personality. It's her body, and her choice what she does with it—you never have the right to infringe on that, no matter how close you are.
If your bridesmaid is covered head to toe in tattoos, remember this: That person is still your good friend. It shouldn’t matter what color hair they have or how many tattoos they have all over their body. It should matter how much they love and care about you, and you them. Asking them to cover up something that defines them and makes them essentially who they are is like asking them to walk down the aisle as somebody else.
While you might be aiming for the most unified look possible between your bridesmaids, take a step back and put yourself in their situation. Instead of wanting them all to look the same, find a way to focus on what makes each of your bridesmaids unique, and let them know you value and adore that. What you do want is each and everyone of your bridesmaids feeling like themselves before they walk down the aisle and then dance the night away with you on your wedding. Because in the end, it’s not the tiny details that matter on your wedding day, it’s the people you spend that day with.