Can I Make My Vagina Tighter for the Honeymoon If I Stop Having Sex?

A common myth, debunked

Updated 07/23/18

Stocksy

After a long dry spell, sex can feel a bit painful and uncomfortable the first time back in the saddle. You might think that this is because your vagina is tighter now that you haven't put anything inside of it. This is simply not the case.

Truth is, you're probably just as right-and-tight now as you ever were — even if you've got a black belt in boning. No amount of sex can make a vagina looser. This is a ridiculous and damaging myth that we must put to rest. It finds its roots in slut-shaming and we've had enough of it.

Though multiple vaginal births can lead to some temporary stretching of the vaginal canal, no amount of sexual penetration is going to make you looser, Mary Jane Minkin, M.D., Yale Medical School clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology, explains to Brides. When you stretch it, it bounces back to normal.

Sure, it gets looser over time, but this has nothing to do with sex. It has to do with age and gravity. Every part of your body gets looser with age. Welcome to reality.

Not having sex does not make your vagina tighter

No amount of holding out is going to make you tighter. In fact, the old "don't use it, you lose it" trope is pretty accurate. If you don't have sex, do your Kegels, and masturbate, the vaginal muscles can atrophy. They get weak and sad. This can contribute to looseness and even urinary incontinence. See, you should be having MORE sex to stay tight, not less.

That being said, the reason you might feel tighter after a sexless few weeks or months is due to a different manifestation altogether. "Women who are premenopausal who have normal estrogen levels typically do not experience shrinkage after not having sex for a year," Leah Millheiser, M.D., clinical assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Stanford University School of Medicine, tells Brides.

If you feel tighter during your first ride back in the saddle, it's probably because your vagina hasn't been stretched like that in a while. Any discomfort should subside after a couple times.

A tighter vagina does not mean better sex

If you wait to have sex to have some kind of strange virginal sex experience on your honeymoon, we suggest not. It will only make the sex less pleasant. "Tighter doesn't always mean better," says Millheiser. The idea that getting tighter and making yourself tighter is some highly sought-after thing is a myth. It was sold to you by companies who's sole purpose is to make you feel like there is something wrong with your vulva and vagina. Vaginal rejuvenation is the ultimate exploitative BS medicine.

It's different for women who have gone through menopause, or who have recently had a baby, which can give you temporary menopausal-like symptoms. The inside of the vagina is a lush landscape of valleys and ridges called rugae, which give the canal room to expand as much as 200 percent. (Remember those weird crinkled-up shirts from the turn of the millennium? It's like that.)

Menopause can change sex and the vagina

When estrogen levels drop after menopause, the vaginal lining thins, the rugae smooth out, and the vagina has less room to stretch. That, coupled with dryness—another common symptom of lowered estrogen—can make sex difficult and sometimes painful.

The same thing can happen after months—or in some cases even weeks—of breast feeding, or if you're on a very low-dose birth control pill that provides small amounts of estrogen. If you feel tighter in a bad way, be open with your partner about what you're feeling, get some lube, and give it time. If the narrowing continues to be a problem, ask your OB-GYN whether you should consider alternative options to help make sense more comfortable.

On the other side of the coin, if your vagina feels looser after giving birth, Kegel exercises can help you get back into shape.

The point is, all vaginas and vulvas are different. Yours is a beautiful magical thing just the way it is. Don't say no to sex because you're believing some nonsense hype. Get it while it's hot.

Gigi Engle is a sex educator and writer living in Chicago. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @GigiEngle.

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