When you think about it, the butt is the most equalizing sexual organ that we have—everyone has a butt. So it’s about time we let loose and explore this beautiful region of pleasure. And what better way than with butt plugs?
Now anal sex may sound little too much at the moment, and we totally get that. But butt plugs can be a great jumping off point for more intense anal play in the future—but that doesn't have to be the goal. Butt plugs can offer copious amounts of pleasure all on their own. (And just because you decide to try some butt play, does not inherently come with an expectation for anal sex.)
This is an important conversation to have with your partner before engaging in any way. If you want to have anal sex, that’s completely OK and up to you. The point is, it’s not all one bracket. You (or your partner) can put in butt plugs or prostate massagers without changing up too much of your sex routine.
Here is what you need to know about using a butt plug for the first time.
They’re not gender specific.
Men and women can use butt plugs! They have the power to bring lots of pleasure to both (and all) genders. For women, the anal opening is rich with nerves which a plug can help ignite. There is also a feeling of fullness plugs can offer which can be enjoyable for some women as well. If the plug is long enough, you can actually indirectly stimulate the very back of the clitoris (the A spot)—this won’t happen for everyone.
For men, the nerve rich-anal opening definitely plays a role, but the prostate is the center of male pleasure in the rear. (The prostate is a walnut-shaped gland that is located a few inches inside the anus.) Butt plugs or prostate massagers are often specifically shaped or curved to reach the prostate. Interested in diving deeper (pun not intended)? Check out our complete guide to prostate massage.
Buy the right stuff.
If this is your first time buying a butt plug or prostate massagers, always start small; You can graduate to bigger sizes later. The anus doesn’t naturally expand in the same way a vagina does. It needs to be trained to accommodate objects. You might find that you can start using bigger plugs in a matter of hours, but for others it can take a few weeks or months. Be patient and allow your body time to adjust.
You want to be sure that you’re buying the best products. You don’t want to put anything inside your body made from crappy (OK, pun intended this time) materials. Choose plugs made of body-safe or medical grade silicone. Our favorite starter toys are the Aneros, the b-Vibe novice plug (which offers vibration), and this plug from Doc Johnson.
Use a lot of lube.
While silicone lubes are great and make for awesome staying power, you don’t want to use them with silicone toys. They can damage the material and cause them to breakdown.
Instead, choose a water-based or oil-based lube. Our favorites for water-based are Sustain, Good Clean Love, and Lelo Personal Moisturizer. For oil-based lubes, we love CocoLube, Boy Butter, and 100 percent organic aloe vera.
Use lube generously; the more lube the better when it comes to butt stuff.
Inserting your plug.
Breathe deeply into your body. You want to be sure your or your partner’s anus are relaxed. Move the plug in slowly. Check in with each other to make sure everything is comfortable and feeling good.
It should absolutely NOT hurt. If you’re super relaxed, well-lubed, and into the play, the plug should slip into place. Usually the sphincter will hold the butt in place while you engage in other play. You can also experiment moving it in and out of the anus to see if that is pleasurable.
For beginners, inserting the plug yourself first can make things easier. If you’d rather give your partner access, that’s fine too. Just remember: Move slowly and never, ever put any toy in your butt that doesn’t have a flared base. Always read the directions thoroughly.
Butt stuff is not for everyone.
The truth is, butt stuff just might not be your thing. If you experiment with butt stuff and decide you’re not into it, your partner’s not into it, or both, take a pass.
Sexuality and pleasure are extremely subjective. What works for one person will not always work for the other. We applaud you for being experimental. Move on to something else. There are about 9,000,000 other forms of sexual play out there.
See more: Play THIS Game to Keep Your Sex Life Steamy
Go find what works for you. And for all the butt stuff lovers out there, keep doing your thing.
Gigi Engle is a certified sex coach, educator, and writer living in Chicago. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @GigiEngle.
