Planning a wedding brings out all sorts of opinions, from your fiancé, your mom, your mother in law — and even your bridesmaids. And while you might hope that a friend who you feel deserves the honor of being a bridesmaid would be able to recognize where to drawn the line between constructive criticism and questioning your decisions as the bride, sometimes a bad apple sneaks into the bunch. What's a bride to do when those opinions become negative or backhanded? Our experts weigh in on how to handle a badmouthing bridesmaid.
The last thing a bride wants is a bridesmaid causing a mutiny, whether it's behind her back or to her face. After all, this girl is supposed to be one of your best friends! So no matter if she's complaining about the plus-one policy or thinks you should have picked cocktail bridesmaid dresses instead of floor-length, it's best to be addressed head on, as soon as possible.
Try to get to the bottom of her badmouthing. Is the cost of being a bridesmaid doing a number on her bank account? Or maybe she's bummed that she's the last single gal in the group? Whatever the case may be, there's a really good chance that some underlying issue (that might not have anything to do with you!) is getting the best of her. Work with her to find a solution, whether that means helping cover some of her wedding-related expenses (hair and makeup makes a great gift!) or planning a regular girls' night with your pals to remind her that she's still got you by her side, even if you're halfway to a new last name.
If the conversation just isn't productive, ask her if being your bridesmaid is really something she wants to be doing. If it seems like she accepted your offer without thinking it through, or has too much else going on to be a bridesmaid right now, give her an easy out. You can always give her a smaller role in the wedding, like handing out programs at the ceremony or doing a reading, or you can just let her be a guest.
And remember, friendships are constantly evolving, so while you might have been close when you got engaged a year ago, things may have changed. If your friendship isn't what it used to be, your best bet might be to offer an easy exit strategy.