When it comes time to choose who will get a coveted spot on your wedding guest list, you may be left with a lot of question marks next to certain people’s names — and for valid reasons. Perhaps there is a group of your parents' friends whom you barely know and hardly seem worth the plated dinner fee. Maybe you have a handful of cousins you haven’t spoken to in years. An old roommate could be begging to bring a Bumble match she's only been out with three times.
But the one person everyone would assume would be a hard scratch-through, with no question marks in sight, would be an ex-lover. Surely sending a wedding invitation to people you may once have considered marriage material themselves is laughable, right?
Apparently that’s not the case for everyone. There are some couples out there who have completely friend-zoned their exes, and inviting them to the wedding wasn't a head-scratching or heart-wrangling decision at all.
Read on to find out why these five brides had someone from their "ex-list" make it onto their guest list, and why they don’t regret that decision.
1. He’s Part of the Family (Literally)
“My ex and I broke up almost ten years ago. Many years after we split, I started dating someone else (who I met on a dating app) only to learn two months in that he was my ex’s second cousin. Do you think the world is big? Turns out it’s tiny and there I was, dating a relative of an ex-boyfriend. It was a little weird at first but it’s been about four years. I’m part of the family, and so is my ex, and that’s just the way my life will be.” —Cynthia F., 34
2. We Were Always Better As Friends
“You don’t have to hate an ex when the relationship is over. I dated my ex for three years and then one day we both admitted that we didn’t see a future together and we should go our own ways. It wasn’t dramatic or painful. We ended things romantically and just stayed great friends. When I got married, he was in my bridal party and even came to the bachelorette party!” —Tami E., 29
3. Better There By Invitation Than Infiltration
“I just felt like if my ex was going to be at my wedding, I didn't want to have anxiety about him showing up unexpectedly or crashing the party. It was a sign of peace inviting him. It worked. I sent him an invite and he called me to say he couldn’t come, but appreciated it and wished me well. It was one less thing I felt I had to worry about on my wedding day.” —Raquel X., 38
4. It Was a Drunken Mistake
“I invited my ex by accident. I was drunk one night and for some reason thought it would be funny to send him an invite. Why I don’t regret this is because he called me when he got it and we talked through some unresolved baggage and emotions. It was the weirdest — and admittedly perhaps the dumbest — way to get closure.” —Becky H., 27
5. An Ex for an Ex
“Literally the only thing my wife and I fought about when we were wedding planning was the fact that she wanted to invite her ex-girlfriend to the wedding. I was pissed about it, but I wanted to respect that they stayed friends. It was immature of me, but I only agreed to let her do it if my ex was invited too. I ended up inviting an ex from college and she couldn’t even come.” —Terri V., 31