Bride Wedding Cost-Shamed After Revealing Her Parents Spent $165K on Her Nuptials

The bride is catching flak for having her parents foot the bill

Updated 07/11/19

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Wedding sticker shock is a real, as even Priyanka Chopra will tell you. One Arizona woman’s wedding cost has the internet feeling sympathy shock—and outrage!—particularly since her parents paid it.

In a Refinery29 story titled “10 Women Share Who Paid for What at Their Weddings,” 29-year-old Emily confessed that her mom and dad footed the bill for her “marriage prep and church-related costs,” ceremony and reception when she was laid off one month after getting engaged.

"My parents paid for basically everything,” she wrote. “I paid for a few little 'extras,' like my bridesmaids' gifts, but I ... didn’t have an income for about half of the time I was wedding planning. I would have liked to contribute more, but it just wasn’t in the cards, and my parents were very generous.”

All in all, the Phoenix resident said her family shelled out $165,000 for the affair—about three times the national wedding cost average for 2018, per the Brides 2018 American Wedding Study.

Emily’s new in-laws, meanwhile, contributed $5,000 to the couple’s honeymoon.

Though the bride said she “often felt guilty” about accepting the generosity of her loved ones, her lavish nuptials had been predetermined. “My parents, my husband and I all agreed very early on that we wanted a big, fun wedding, and that’s just expensive!” she explained. “I am incredibly grateful that they were about to give us such a wonderful day, and really a wonderful ten-month engagement full of showers, wedding dress fittings, a bachelorette party, etc. Since I wasn’t working, I would have had to forgo a lot of that stuff in the moment, and they made it possible for me to just enjoy it and not worry about the cost."

In fact, Emily went on to say that had her mother and father not come through, she likely would have had to postpone her wedding. “My husband and I are aggressively paying back his six-figure student debt, so a lavish 200+ person wedding would not have been in the cards,” she wrote.

She closed by saying she doesn’t recommend going into debt over a ceremony: “If you can’t afford a big party, don’t have one. It’s the marriage that is important, not the wedding. (I know, I know, easy for me to say, I got both.)"

Many of the story's commenters were seemingly appalled by her revelation. “If you're adult enough to marry, you are adult enough to pay for your own stuff,” one wrote, with another chiming in to say, “Sorry, but that sounds like the wedding of a spoiled brat and a husband who seems to have met the wrong bride to start a life with.”

Others pointed out that the six figures spent on the couple’s big day could have been allocated toward the groom’s debt, with comments of, “Unemployed and six figure student debt? I agree with previous comments that spending this amount is ridiculous, even if it was her parents money,” and “If he has a six-figure student loan debt then why didn’t they just put the wedding money towards that???”

One commenter even called Emily’s story, “Shameful,” adding, “I can't believe your parents have that much money and were stupid enough to agree to that.”

On the flip side, however, were those sticking up for Emily, noting that it had been her parents’ choice to spend their funds as they saw fit. “People are complaining that the money could have been spent elsewhere. But what if the parents didn't want to spend it elsewhere?” one commenter wrote. “It was their money. It was their choice to spend it how they wanted to spend it.”

Added another: “The bride said she was willing to do without. The parents wanted to do this for her. it was a gift.”

Another still pointed out that the cost is relative, depending on her family’s financial status. “She didn't reveal if her parents were wealthy or how much they made. If they were worth $10 million, would people be less outraged because she didn't go overboard? It's all relative.”

Summed up one writer: “Most of these comments unfairly judge the bride. She stated that had her parents not provided this gift she would have been satisfied with a simpler wedding. She seems like a very sensible woman that's grateful for what others that love her where willing to give her.”

And lets not forget, according to the Brides American Wedding Study, the number of couples who have their parents pay for their nuptials has only increased in recent years, so this bride is clearly not alone.

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