Though the maid of honor traditionally plans the bridal shower — often with the help of the other bridesmaids — there's no reason you can't give her a little helpful guidance. Just tread lightly, though, because you don't want to cross the line into bridezilla territory. To get the bridal shower of your dreams without stepping on anyone's toes, follow these four simple steps:
1. Suggest a few dates that work with your schedule.
Since your maid of honor has the huge task of figuring out everyone's schedules and deciding on a date, try to be as flexible as possible and throw out several dates that work.
2. Put everyone in touch.
If some of your bridesmaids don't know each other very well, take the time to introduce everyone. And if getting your entire bridal party together in person is too difficult, logistics-wise, then write a group email to all of your bridesmaids, sprinkling in a few fun tidbits about each person — where they live, what they do, how you met, and your favorite thing about her.
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3. Create the guest list.
Instead of waiting to be asked, be a thoughtful bride-to-be and have your bridal-shower guest list at the ready. Make sure that everyone who's invited to the shower is also invited to the wedding, and don't go overboard with the guest list — remember that your bridesmaids will be generously footing the bill for this party, so try your hardest to keep the guest list to your closest friends and family.
4. Drop a few hints.
If you have an idea of the type of shower you'd like, you could try to subtly drop a few hints ("Wouldn't it be nice if it was held outdoors?"), but refrain from making flat-out demands. You could also recruit a shower spy: Share your ideas with a trustworthy bridesmaid who can help steer your maid of honor in the right direction. Now's also the time to let your attendants know if you'd like to play games at the shower or if you'd prefer to skip that tradition (the same goes for the opening of gifts).