Sexual breathing is a form of erotic meditation wherein you connect your breath to sexual touch and feelings of pleasure. It might be just the thing you need to refocus yourself on your own needs. Sometimes we lose sensation in the clitoris, and in other various erogenous zones, because we let our minds wander or can’t control our thoughts.
Either way, sexual breathing is a practice you should master. Advice is given often about “breathing into your body” during sex. But what does this actually mean and why is it so important? And further still, how does one do this?
Here is what you need to know about sex breathing and its power in sexual arousal.
When we forget to breathe
Do you ever find yourself so concentrated or nervous during sex, both intercourse and oral sex, that you tense up? You’re trying so hard to focus and stay in the moment, so desperate to reach orgasm, that you don’t give yourself room to feel. There is a lot of pressure surrounding sex and orgasm. It’s not particularly surprising it would wind up being a bit stressful for women.
Additionally, if a certain kind of “pleasurable” touch doesn’t feel like anything to us, we think we’re broken, only deepening the stress.
What so many of us forget to do, even if we don’t mean to, is breathe. It seems like such a simple, straightforward thing. How in the world would someone forget to breathe? It’s easier than you think.
When you’re in the midst of sex, and you feel pressured to feel pleasure and get off, you wind up forgetting to breathe in a way that allows blood flow to the body in order to feel that pleasure.
It’s a sexual catch-22. You’re so distracted by not feeling pleasure that you don’t feel pleasure.
Sexual breathing and mind-body connectedness
Our inbox is flooded with messages from women wondering how to feel more pleasure during intercourse, oral sex, and clitoral stimulation. There is usually this overarching and pervasive tension within these messages.
Your breath might be the element you’re missing. Your breath, and focus on that breath, is crucial to connecting your brain to your body. Our minds are extremely powerful. It is our most potent sex organ, even more so than the clitoris.
During sex, it can be difficult to stay in your body. You’re running through everything you need to do later that day, you’re going over the grocery list, and thinking about that project at work. Things are happening to your body, but you’re not giving them enough attention to enjoy them, let alone have an orgasm.
Deep meditative breaths are what bring you back into your body and allow you to connect to yourself and your erotic feelings. Breathing deeply floods the brain with oxygen, naturally calming you. There is a reason people tell you to take “deep breaths” when you’re having a panic attack.
Sex breathing: How to do it alone
If you find your mind wandering during sexual play or perhaps aren’t feeling sexual pleasure the way you used to: breathe. Devote an evening to your pleasure. Do this alone before bringing your partner in on the fun.
Run a bath and relax. All the while, concentrate on your breathing. Take a deep breath in, hold it for five seconds, and then release it for five seconds. Feel the warm water on your skin. Smell the candles burning. How do you feel?
After your bath, spend some time your vibrator. Again, your breathing is essential here. Focus on your breath and your body. Tune into your clitoris. When taking deep breaths, try to fill your vulva with that breath. Lean into the pleasure and focus on what you’re feeling.
You’ll find that concentrating on your breath allows you to unlock pleasure centers that you may not even have known were there. It is quite liberating.
Sex breathing: How to do it with a partner
Next, bring your partner in. Your partner wants you to enjoy sex and to feel pleasure. They should be on board with spending an evening (or several evenings) helping you regain sexual consciousness.
Devote at least twenty minutes to oral sex. He or she should stay down there as long as you need. No pressure to finish, just focus on your body.
See more: What to Do if Your Orgasm Goes Missing
Lie back and breathe. The same deep breaths you practiced in the bath and while masturbating. Focus on every single thing your partner is doing to your body. Resist the urge to perform or moan like a porn star. This will only cause distraction.
You can moan and scream if you want to, but only if it comes naturally. Listen to your body. Wherever you’re being touched or licked, send your breath to that spot. Focus on the breath is a key to unlock a whole world of pleasure. Sometimes finding a powerful orgasm is as simple as harnessing your mind-body power.