Whoever thought a well-stocked bedside drawer was just for single people or ultra-kinky couples, wasn't exploring the full expanse of their sex life: With the right tools within arms reach, even newlyweds the best sex lives can be taken to new heights. Just because you're in a relationship for life doesn't mean the adventure stops. Quite the opposite.
Toys make for a dynamic sexual experience, offering a whole new way to experience pleasure and up the ante on orgasm.
"Some toys and products add sensations that the human body doesn't evoke during even creative sex," explains Carol Queen, Ph.D., sexologist and author of The Sex & Pleasure Book: Good Vibrations Guide to Great Sex for Everyone. But you don't need a bedside drawer brimming with sex toys. In fact, our experts says, there are just four things you need to get stocked, stat.
1. Water-based (or silicone) lubricant.
As Queen says, "It's a myth that if a woman desires sex, she'll be naturally lubricated."
The vagina naturally lubricates, and while you may feel you get really wet, there is always room to get wetter. Some women get wetter than others; regardless lube should be a must.
"Lubrication varies by time of the month and use of hormonal birth control — even because of decongestants," she points out. So stocking lubricant in your bedside drawer can help your body reflect how you feel, and make the experience more comfortable for both partners. "Lubricant helps make sex feel better, and it's the magic ingredient that makes condoms work very well," King says. "It's a must-have, even if you don't need or use it all the time."
Now that you're married, you may have chucked your back-up birth control methods. But Queen cautions that you should still stock your drawer with this particular pregnancy and STI-preventing measure, "unless you are both 100 percent certain they aren't needed," she says. "Not only are condoms plus lubricant a highly effective birth control combo, they are important to avoid STIs and they're handy for keeping things clean during other play and toy use."
3. Couple's vibrator
Every long-term couple should invest in a wide range of adventurous sex toys. When 2 in 3 women require clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm, toys are the best way to go. We recommend Fin from Dame products: It turns yours or your partner's fingers into a vibrator, making it easy (and fun) to stimulate the clitoris.
4. Massage oil or a massage candle
After a long day, a massage is a sure way to get your partner relaxed and in the mood for sex.
"Sex means a lot of things, but generally we understand it to be a pretty genitally-focused experience. But to get optimally relaxed and turned on, whole-body contact is a plus for most everyone and an absolute must for some," Queen says.
Keep massage oil or a similar stimulant nearby for a more relaxing form of foreplay. "Sensual touch helps couples slow down, tune in to each others' bodies and vibe, and lavish attention on each other," Queen says.
See More: How to Have Better Sex as Newlyweds
5. A pocket vibrator
If you only keep one toy in your bedside drawer, this should be it. "There are nerve endings whose job it is to recognize vibration," Queen explains. "It's a sensation that many people love, and vibration can support and enhance orgasm even among people who aren't easily orgasmic in other ways."
With hundreds of battery-operated vibrators to choose from, Queen recommends selecting a model "that is slender enough to fit between two bodies lets you use it clitorally during intercourse, and that can maximize the chances that you will climax during the deed." We're loving the Bean from Unbound.
6. Cleanup wipes
Love is fun, but it can get pretty messy. In lieu of jumping up immediately post-coitus, opt for some some easy to use, organic wipes. It's a lot easier to grab a wipe, do a swipe, and get to snuggle time. These babies will help you skip the awkward lulls and let you enjoy more time with your partner.
Choose a brand will a nice scent (like lavender!) that doesn't use harsh chemicals or artificial ingredients. The last thing you want is to throw off your pH levels and get a yeast infection. Not sexy. We recommend Sustain Natural Post-Play wipes.
7. A G-spot toy
A solid G-spot wand is a must-have for long-term couples. Not every sexual experience needs to be about penetration with a penis. G-spot wands allow you to get some deep penetration, coupled with vibrations. You can use it on yourself or have your partner use it on you.
We're a big fan of pulling out a G-spot wand during the 69 position. It will change the game. For a low-key, non-threatening choice, check out the Lelo Mona 2.