Anal sex is a hot topic these days. It seems like everyone is trying to jump on the anal train. We don’t blame you. When done properly, anal can be quite magical.
That being said, there is a ton of information out there on the internet and it can be difficult to sift through the bad to find the golden nuggets of truth. Before you try to jump into anal all Devil-may-care, there are some very important things you need to know.
If you want to have anal sex, do it correctly so everyone can have a great time. Here are 6 anal sex tips for couples that everyone should memorize and put into practice.
Have a conversation
Want to give anal a go? You must have a sit down conversation with your partner and talk it out. There absolutely must not be any pressure whatsoever. Whether you want to be the giver or the receiver of anal stimulation, communication and enthusiasm are key.
Explain why you want to try it, how you see it going down and be willing to hear your partner’s perspective in full. Be prepared to address any concerns. This means doing your research (ie: reading this article!).
No one is going to enjoy anal play of any kind if they feel like they’ve been pressured into it. If your partner is willing to give it a shot, that’s great. If they are in no way interested in pursuing anything of the butt stuff nature, let it go.
Begging, coercing and constantly bringing it up again after a hard no is, to put it like an 85 year-old auntie, most unbecoming.
Understand the anatomy of the anus
Know your stuff before you do anything physical. The first thing to consider when you’re venturing into anal territory is how an anus becomes a pleasure zone for both male and female-bodied people. Both sexes (and all genders) have a butt hole (it’s the one sex organ we both have, actually!) and it is a potential erogenous zone for everyone.
You don’t need to shove anything super far up a rectum to feel sensation. Most of the anal nerves are within the first two inches of the anal opening. This is a nerve-rich cluster that can be stimulated with fingers, a small (or large, depending on your experience level) butt plug. There is a common misconception that, because the anus is not a closed canal like the vagina, you should stick things up as far as they can go. This is not the case.
The prostate should not be ignored
The one thing male-bodied people have that female-bodied people do not have? A prostate. We’re telling you, if you’re a man and are missing out on prostate orgasms, that is a shame. The prostate is essentially the male G-spot and is located near the urethra and public bone; again close to the opening.
Studies have shown the vast potential of the prostate during sexual play. When stimulated, prostate orgasms can make climax up to 33 percent more intense. Needless to say, you shouldn’t sleep on anal—no matter your gender.
Lube is not optional
Lube is your golden ticket for all things anal-play. It doesn’t matter what you read on Reddit—spit is not an option during butt stuff. The anus doesn’t self-lubricate the same way a vagina does—even though vaginal sex should also mandate lube.
Get yourself some reliable lube. The wetter the better. If you don’t use lube, you risk hurting your partner or possibly tearing something. Hard pass.
Don’t buy products full of harsh chemicals and glycerine. Stick with good, organic options. Coconut oil is good choice for butt plugs, but can erode condoms. For anal sex, stick to a silicone-based, or water-silicone hybrid lube so it stays on throughout.
Get some small butt plugs
Only people who truly don’t know what they’re doing go straight for anal sex. Please don’t be those people. Don’t jump into anal sex right away.
You need to start with anal training. Yes, you heard that correctly. The anus needs to be trained to accommodate large butt plugs and penises.
Start with one well-lubed finger, then move to two. You can also introduce small butt plugs. The anus is not a muscle that naturally stretches to allow objects inside of it. We know exactly that it’s primary physical function is, and it’s not an entryway. It needs to be gently stretched and kneaded.
Anal training can take anywhere from a few hours to a few months. Be patient. If you move too quickly, you could wind up in serious pain. The chances of getting to try anal again once you’ve hurt someone are slim to none. Better safe than sorry.
Remember: The receiver is always in control
The person receiving the anal stimulation should always, always, always be in control. It may seem counterintuitive, but it is critical for enjoyable play. If you are the receiver, be open and honest about what you’re feeling. If you need your partner to slow down, say so. If it hurts, stop entirely and take a break.
When and if you’re prepared for anal sex, lower yourself onto your partner’s penis or dildo. Move at your own pace to be comfortable. The bottom is the person in charge.