When it comes to her relationship with Chris Fischer, Amy Schumer moves fast. Not only did they get married after only a few months of dating, but they also planned the entire wedding in less than a week. In a recent interview on Howard Stern's radio show, the comedian revealed that their first date, too, was quite the whirlwind. That day (and night!) came weeks after she and Fischer were first introduced by Schumer's assistant, Fischer's sister Molly. It took a while for things to turn romantic between Schumer and Fischer, but one day when they were hanging out together, "He came up behind me and he put his arms around me and he kissed my neck, and it was on," Schumer said. "And then we were just so open with each other."
Schumer, 36, readily admitted that on that first night, "We had sex, you know me!" She continued, "There was no nonsense between us. It was just, you know, let's go. And it was sweet, it was really nice. We had a great night and then in the morning, I said—first of all, I have a habit of not letting people sleep in my bed—and so I wanted him to sleep there, and then in the morning, I was happy he was there. And I said in the morning, 'I don't want you to go,' he said, 'I don't wanna go either,' and then we just worked really hard to keep seeing each other."
A few months later, Schumer was asleep, wearing ear plugs and an eye mask, when Fischer woke her up and offered her a ring, saying only, "I got you this." Schumer told Stern that she accepted the chef and restaurateur's proposal, then planned their entire wedding in just three or four days—yes, really! She picked out a white dress, chose "Rainbow Connection" from The Muppet Movie to accompany her walk down the aisle, then texted her friends and family, "I'm getting married on Tuesday. I hope you can come." As for which friends and family she and Fischer texted, Schumer said they had only a few simple criteria: "Who do we love and who makes us happy? And no drama, and won't make it about them."
The dreamy nuptials took place on February 13 in Malibu, and included A-list guests like Larry David, Jennifer Aniston, Seth Meyers, David Spade, and Chelsea Handler. Schumer's close friend Jennifer Lawrence gave a toast that, per Schumer, was the perfect blend of hilarious and heartfelt. "She was great and she made a really sweet toast," Schumer told Stern. "We just joke around so much, but to hear her say, you know, 'You're the matriarch now and it's a role you'll be so good at. I know you love fiercely.' And then she also said, 'I wish for you patience, which you don't have'—like, she kind of also roasted me! But it was really sweet."
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As she's previously described, Schumer also injected a bit of her signature raunchy humor into her own meaningful vows to Fischer, promising to "do my best to continue to go down on you, even though everyone says I won't." And so far, she said, "It's not been a problem." In fact, married life has been a breeze for the newlyweds. "You're in, you're done. He's mine, I'm his. We've partnered up, we've committed to be partners for life, and we meant it," Schumer, who "absolutely" recommends marriage, said, before hinting that kids are "maybe" on the horizon for her and Fischer. "Well, I got a little dog, and I really love her. So, that's the first step," she said.