Most brides ask me for tips on how to keep their moms occupied and out of their hair during wedding planning — and some of them want help managing their fiancé' mom too. However, sometimes when the married-to-be is super busy — and the bride actually has not daydreamed about plans for this day — the mothers of the bride and groom can plan your wedding.
At first you may be totally against it, but if you take some time to think about it — other than you're fiancé, your parents usually know you best. They know what you like, what you don't like, how to get on your nerves — and impose their opinions upon you — but they truly have your best interest in mind.
If your parents are already paying for the wedding, granting your mom the responsibility of also planning it means no stress for you. You will not have to deal with any haggling, arguing or negotiating involved. She's also more likely to spend more money on her own selections than she would have if they were demands from you.
It can be trickier if you're giving control to your fiancé' mother. First you have to make sure your own mother didn't want the privilege and if your mom isn't available or volunteering, and your future mother-in-law is — it's perfectly acceptable to take her generous offer.
A mom can handle all the invitations and RSVPs. She can be the trustworthy point of contact for all of your vendors. If you travel a lot, you can have your gifts sent to her and she can send out the thank you notes in a timely manner. If wedding planning is not her particular forte your mom can even hire a wedding planner (as many do), so she'll not only be able to take the credit for planning your wedding, but also truly enjoy your big day as an honored guest.
Do not overlook the advantage of having one or both of your mothers plan your wedding and take complete control. Wedding planning takes a lot more time than most brides and grooms realize at the outset.
Sandy Malone is the owner of Sandy Malone Weddings & Events, a full-service traditional and destination wedding planning company and Do-It-Yourself wedding planning consulting service for DIY brides and grooms based in the Washington, DC area. Sandy is the star of TLC's reality show "Wedding Island," about her destination wedding planning company, Weddings in Vieques. Sandy's book "How to Plan Your Own Destination Wedding: Do-It-Yourself Tips from an Experienced Professional," will be released on March 1st, but is available online for pre-orders now where books are sold.