We can safely say that never having an embarrassing moment during sex is a virtual impossibility. No matter how succinct and perfect sex may look in movies and in porn, it just isn’t how it is in real life.
Sex is funny, weird, awkward, strange, silly, hot, and amazing. Being able to laugh about the weird moments is the only thing that will get you through life. You know what we mean. Can you think of a time during sex when you weren’t sure if you should laugh, crazy, or both? We’ve all been there.
Here are nine real women on their most embarrassing sex moment.
After he finished, he climbed off of me. I proceeded to finish myself off, and he just sat on the edge the bed with his back turned to me, asked how long I would take, and then waited until I came. Haha It was so awkward, but I enjoyed myself.
I was drunk off my behind at the lovely age of 22. I had been getting hammered with my friends, one of whom was this dude who had a big crush on me. My little sister was there as well. She was about 19 at the time (I know, I was such a good influence). After everyone else went to bed, I went into the living room and for whatever reason started having sex with the friend who had a crush on me. Right in the open on the living room couch. Suddenly, I heard something. I look up and my sister is booking it out of the room, into the bathroom, where she slammed the door. Yep. My sister saw me having drunk monkey sex with some dude. Good times.
He purred during. And then roared, like a lion, upon completion. I think there is a line in “When Harry Met Sally” about making a woman meow. I think I win.
A girl I was hooking up with one night after the bars told me I looked a lot like her sister. Mood killed.
I do not fake orgasms. It’s just not something I’m willing to do. Call me crazy. Anyway, this guy was going down on me, and it was NOT going to happen. He was treating my cooch like chewing gum. Like…nibbling it. It was not sexy. So, I’m lying there and every two minutes or so he’s like, “Are you close?” to which I responded, “Um. Nope.” He just KEPT GOING. I felt really bad so I just lied there until he realized it wasn’t going to happen. We didn’t go out again.
We were having drunk sex and in the middle he just breaks out the leftover Buffalo Wild Wings and tried to feed me!!! Like, sorry chicken wings are not a sexy food.
Ha, after nearly 40 years with many fakers, I still scream out at the wrong times. I am sure that his rhythm is in complete tatters.
I was once getting into it with my then boyfriend. We were making out and starting to take each other’s clothes off. Suddenly, I realized I was going to have diarrhea. Don’t ask me how I didn’t have signs before this moment, but I didn’t. It came on so suddenly! I got off of him and ran to the bathroom where I proceeded to spend the next four hours. My boyfriend was obviously mortified, but he was so sweet. He kept checking on me and bringing me water. I was crying like a loon because I was so embarrassed.
I was about 22 and my boyfriend at the time was in his mid-30s. He was kind of creep, but I didn’t know that at the time. We were having sex from behind when suddenly he pulled out and says, “There is feces all over my dick.” I was so horrified I couldn’t even speak. What was he talking about? Again he says, “There is feces all over my dick right now. All over it.” I got dressed in silence and left the apartment. I called my best friend on the street just complete unsure of what the hell just happened. “Did you finish your period recently?” She asked me. I had. It occurred to both of us: It wasn’t poop up my vagina, it was just some brown, oxidized blood. A grown man in his 30s genuinely thought I had fecal matter in my vagina. My friends referred to hm as “sh*t dick” for the rest of our relationship. I still cringe when I think about that moment.