A bird relieves itself on the groom's jacket.
Quick Fix: Simply wiping the poop off will leave streak marks. Instead, follow the guidelines of the International Formalwear Association: Dry the stain using the cool setting on a blow-'dryer, then brush off the dried residue with a soft bristle brush.
You're worried that Grandpa may snore during the vows.
Quick Fix: If he's known for daytime dozing, suggest he take a nap before the ceremony, says Joyce Scardina Becker, of San Francisco's Events of Distinction and author of Countdown to Your Perfect Wedding (St. Martin's Press). It's also a good idea to appoint a family member to sit next to Gramps and give him a gentle poke if he starts making a racket during the service.
There's a typo in the program.
Quick Fix: If it's minor (a lowercase letter instead of a capital), “just roll with it,” says J. Wilbur Smith, of EventScapes, in Atlanta. If it's something major (“the sexth of May”), reprint a simplified, revised version at the local Kinko's. No time? Go paperless and ask your celebrant to make announcements.
Your zipper won't budge.
Quick Fix: Lip Balm. A gentle swipe will instantly remedy a stuck zipper. Unscented soap, the tip of a lead pencil or an unlit candle will do nicely, too.
You wake up with red, puffy eyes.
Quick Fix: Steep two chamomile tea bags in warm water, place them in the freezer, then lie down for 10 minutes with a chilled bag on each eye, says New York makeup artist Viktorija Bowers. Use Visine to zap any remaining redness.
The reception's sound system blows out.
Quick Fix: DJs and bands usually have back-up equipment, so most problems should take only a couple of minutes to fix. Until then, plug in your iPod (many couples bring one to play during band breaks). “Lots of hotels have a way to hook them up,” says Zack. While your appointed troubleshooters are busy setting things up, distract your guests with another activity: “Make a speech or cut the cake.”