When you’re deeply in love with someone, you may want nothing more than to marry them one day. You might think about spending the rest of your lives together and growing old as a couple, but how do you know if you should actually get married in the first place? If you want to make sure you're choosing the right person and aren't just caught up in the lust and passion of your current relationship, make sure you consider these five reasons for getting married.
Read on for five key reasons that can help clue you in that you should marry your partner.
You Deeply Trust Your Partner
One of the most important aspects of a strong, happy, and successful marriage is trust. It’s important that you and your partner fully trust each other, support each other, and have each other’s backs. If you’re worried that your partner may be unfaithful and are hoping that getting married will prevent them from cheating on you, take a step back. Getting married is only going to exacerbate any lingering trust issues, so if you have doubts about your partner's fidelity and aren’t sure if they're capable of fully committing to you, the major takeaway is that it’s not the right time to get married. On the flip side, if you wholeheartedly trust this person and know that you can count on them through thick and thin, then it might be time to take the next step.
You Fight Fair
Conflict plays a role in all healthy and thriving relationships, and in order for you and your partner to be able to have a successful marriage, you have to know how to fight fair, resolve arguments, and come away stronger as a couple. "Conflicts will arise, and how you handle those conflicts is every bit as important as the conflicts themselves," says Andrea Bonior, Ph.D.
If you’ve never truly had a disagreement with your partner because your conversations stay on a superficial level, or you’re always in a constant state of conflict with your partner and can't agree on anything, you’re probably not ready to get married because you aren’t able to manage arguments in a productive way. Before you get married, make sure you and your partner have argued in the past, have found common ground, and have come out with a deeper understanding, empathy, and respect for their point of view.
You’ve Spent a Lot of Time Together
Another reason to get married is that you and your partner have spent a lot of time together as a couple and are fully comfortable around each other. If you and your partner have moved in together and enjoy it, that's a good indication of whether you should get married and if your marriage will succeed. "Getting along as roommates — though not sufficient for a marriage — is still vital and necessary," Bonior says. After all, living with someone is much different than just seeing them on the weekends for brunch. Make sure you’ve been around each other enough to be completely comfortable and content with one another.
You Know This Person on a Deeper Level
Have you and your partner truly opened up to each other? Before you consider getting married, make sure you and your partner have confided in one another and are completely open about your thoughts, your past, and your hopes and dreams. When you and your partner are emotionally available and open with one another, it will help make a marriage even stronger because you’re both comfortable being your authentic selves. If you know each other fully and are willing and able to share what’s truly on your mind, it's a great reason to take the next step and walk down the aisle. However, if you don't really know that much about your partner or find that you're acting a certain way around them rather than being your true self, you might want to reconsider getting married until you're able to be more open.
You Want the Same Things
Before getting married, it's important that you and your partner agree about what you want in the future. Consider if you want to have kids, where you want to live, and what your plans are for managing finances. You should be able to talk about the future in an open and honest way so that there are no surprises down the road. "People change. It's important not just to discuss your preferences, but to assess how much wiggle room you each have," Bonior says.
Even if you feel ready, consider having a couple sessions of pre-marital counseling with a therapist before actually tying the knot. It'll help start your marriage off in a strong way and give you the tools for a successful and lasting relationship.