4 Mistakes Couples Make When Choosing Wedding Parties

A wedding planner shares her insight.

Bride with her bridesmaids getting ready

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Once you and your fiancé decide to tie the knot, you might be considering if you both want to have wedding parties for your upcoming celebration. Asking bridesmaids, bridesmen, groomsmen, and groomswomen stand by your side as you get ready for your big day and exchange your vows can be incredible. After all, it allows you to have a support system during a busy time and also have them join in on more festivities like bachelor parties and bridal showers. But, it's easy to make a few mistakes when deciding who will be in your wedding party. The best way to pick the perfect crew is to avoid feeling obligated to include people and to choose friends that can be truly supportive for you during your wedding events.

"Choosing a wedding party is one of the most important decisions a  couple can make when it comes to planning their wedding," shares wedding planner Courtney Ajinça. "Choosing the right wedding party can likely make or break the balance and energy of not only the day, but the entire wedding experience as a whole."

Meet the Expert

Courtney Ajinça is a wedding planner, interior designer, and co-star of VH1's My Celebrity Dream Wedding.

Ahead, Ajinça shares mistakes couples commonly make when deciding who will be in their wedding party, and offers advice as they navigate the tricky task.

Choosing People You Aren't Close To

Do you have a big group text of old friends with only one person you actually still hang out with? Or, do you have a cousin that you barely talk to at Thanksgiving? Just because someone has been a part of your life for a long time doesn't mean they need to be in your wedding party. "It’s common to add in family and friends that you aren’t close to just to satisfy other family or to be socially correct," says Ajinça. "But, this isn’t a great practice and sometimes evokes feelings of resentment from the couple when issues arise during the planning process." Her advice? Keep it to the core crew. "Couples should add only those people whom they are close with and who are invested with their success as a couple," she shares.

Choosing Very Self-Centered Friends

Some people always love to be the star of the show. But when it comes to your wedding, it should be your day. Ajinça advises if you have a friend that loves to complain and make it all about them, reconsidering making that person a part of your support team. "This is the couple’s day and an experience that they will ideally only have once," she says. "So choosing wedding party members who will not prioritize the couple and put their own selfish needs first should be avoided at all costs."

Not Having a Planner in the Group

A wedding party not only is there to accompany you on your big day, but they will be charged with organizing events like bachelorettes and other pre-wedding parties. Ajinça mentions that you should look to add one friend to your group that is good at taking on those planning tasks. "A designated 'planner' within the wedding party is both crucial and beneficial," she shares. "The planner within the group will ensure that the bachelor/bachelorette parties go smoothly. They will also help with coordinating the attire for the day, managing the many personalities of the group, and other important items that will make the experience enjoyable and alleviate the pressure from the couple."

Feeling Obligated to Make a Sibling a Maid or Man of Honor

While it is a common practice to give a sibling the title of maid or man of honor, or best man or woman, you should not feel obligated to if you don't have the closest relationship. "It’s a societal norm to designate the closest sibling as the maid/man of honor, but this isn’t necessary," Ajinça says. "Choose the person who is closest to you and who knows you the best. Your sibling will understand and can be included within the wedding party or in another important role of the day."

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