How to Dream Up Your Wedding Vision as the Groom

It's his day, too.

bride and groom

Photographed by Twah Dougherty Photography

From the groomsmen’s beautifully colored socks to selecting the song as the first dance as newlyweds, the grooms can make a dynamic impact when planning a wedding. “Oftentimes, this day is focused around the bride and fulfilling her dreams and visions for the day,” says Anya Capron from Caicos Events, an event planning company. “It is easy to overlook that this is also the most important day in the groom’s life as well."

"I think when coordinating wedding details, it is important for the groom to be vocal about his wants and wishes for the day," continues Capron. "This includes, time with his guys before call time, details in his outfit, and even his favorite foods considered for the menu.”

If you are ready to jump in and start planning the wedding of your dreams—as the groom—here are a few keys tips to keep in mind.

Groom’s Attire Choices

The groom can make a powerful impact in coordinating with the overall theme and wedding colors. “I believe more times than not, the groom is given his guidelines for attire, and held solely responsible for fittings,” says Capron. “Every individual has their own flare and taste to how they dress day to day, and I think that is important to include in his outfit for the wedding, while sticking to the color palette.”

Traditionally, it was the brides who selected the dream wedding they wish to have but it’s now equally important and expected that the groom should do the same thing. “I always suggest that the groom searches for fashion that represents their personality and matches the look of the colors of the wedding as well as the style for both themselves and their groomsmen,” advises David Tutera, event planner and host of My Fair Wedding. “Whether they’d like for it to be casual versus formal, as well as to showcase their energy and style in the embellishments of their attire: shoes, pocket squares, or even a hat or suspenders. The groom should surprise the bride just like how the bride’s fashion is a special moment for her groom.”

From Menus to Music Selections

The music and food are some of the most important aspects of a memorable wedding reception. “I think the best way a groom can really show his input is to get involved in the wedding reception,” says Capron. “While the ceremony is centered around beauty and emotions, the reception is the moment to celebrate. The groom can help with this from A to Z, this includes songs to be included in the playlist, picking out fun foods for the after party, and the new favorite, a groomsmens' choreographed dance.”

Don’t forget the importance of the groom meeting individually with wedding coordinators to plan out the key essentials for the reception. “Grooms need to be a part of the wedding planning meetings so they can contribute to ideation and discuss how to have fun together as a couple,” advises Tutera. “Planning a wedding is practice on how you will communicate and compromise as a couple far after the wedding is over. I’ve seen that grooms really do love planning wedding details, such as selecting the menu and music. Often many grooms are very excited about how the flow of the wedding will be and how the space will look.”

Those Memorable Moments 

The groom can be the one to create those long-lasting memories with unexpected surprises throughout the day. “The last wedding I coordinated at Beach Enclave, a luxury villa company based in Turks & Caicos, the best man filmed a fully rehearsed skit, as the groom, and his wife, playing the bride. They acted out how the couple initially met, courted, and even told their families about their significant others. We hooked up the projector and screen to make the most of the memorable blonde wig. At times it was tough to hear the dialogue over the roar of laughter. It was the funniest, and most special way I have ever seen a best man show a groom how proud he was of him.”

Planners Need Time With the Groom

To have an effective and well-organized wedding, grooms should have their own one-on-one time with the wedding planner. “As a planner for me is it mandatory for me to speak to both brides and grooms together and at times, separately,” says Tutera. “You can’t do your job as a wedding planner if you are working in a space that is just about what the bride wants. What happens is the groom winds up simply being a guest at a party and not a honoree. It’s important for planners to not rely on just their bride but to include the groom and make this about the couple as a unit. A wedding is about love and most importantly, the love between two people.”

Remember to Have Equal Investment

There are no hard and fast rules for wedding planning, but having a partner not only in love but in organizing your big day is huge. “Same-sex couples showcase a great energy when planning their weddings, they are often equally invested and there never a perception that one of the two has to handle certain things—they handle it all together,” says Tutera. “It’s a great way to remember that no matter who you are, you both should be on this journey of joy together."

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