6 Signs You’re Growing Apart From Your Partner

A woman who's worried about her and her partner drifting apart.

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Whether you’re in the dating phase or are in a committed relationship with your partner, you may find yourself wondering if the two of you still make sense as a couple. Maybe things just seem off, difficult, or forced when you’re together, or maybe you’re finding it harder to imagine a future with your significant other. When you start having these kinds of thoughts and doubts, it's important to realize that the disconnect might not be all in your head. We rounded up six signs you're drifting apart from your partner to help you out.

Read on for the six key signs that you and your S.O. may actually be growing apart.

You Don't Pay Attention To Them

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If you’re wondering if you’re growing apart from your partner, one of the clear signs is that you’re no longer interested in and/or paying attention to them when you’re spending time together. You may find that your mind wanders when they're talking, you don’t pay attention to the particulars or details they mention to you, and you choose to focus on your phone or on the TV in order to avoid having to listen to them.

"There may be an emerging and uncomfortable sense from each partner that they don’t really know the person they’re married to, and maybe don’t have as much in common with each other as they once thought," say Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera, Ph.D.

You Don't Do Favors

Another key indicator that you’re growing apart from your partner is that you no longer want to go out of your way for this person. While you used to perform random acts of kindness, do special favors, or engage in activities and attend functions that are important to them, you no longer feel the need to do anything that puts their needs first. When you don’t truly care about your partner’s feelings, wants, and desires, you should pay attention to your own feelings and recognize that you might be drifting apart.

You Can't Agree

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While it’s actually important for couples to have opinions that differ from time to time, a clear sign that you’re drifting apart is that you can’t find anything you agree on. If you have opposite stances when it comes to almost every topic and your conversations with one another seem to always turn into heated arguments and debates, it’s a definite warning sign.

Before calling it quits, recognize that your disagreements might be a result of a poor communication skills. Consider attending a few couple's therapy sessions to see if you can get your relationship back on track.

You'd Rather Spend Time Without Them

Another sign that you and your partner are drifting apart is if you have a desire to literally physically separate yourself from them. If you’re constantly seeking out opportunities to be without this person, don’t look forward to being with them, and find yourself putting off activities that involve the two of you, it should come as no surprise that you’re actively growing apart from your partner. 

There's No Physical Intimacy

With this in mind, another key sign that you and your partner are drifting apart is that you’re no longer physically intimate with one another. Being intimate with your partner is an important part of building a happy, healthy and long-lasting relationship, so if you’re sensing that you no longer want to be intimate with your S.O., you might want to reevaluate your future together.

There's No Emotional Intimacy

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Along these lines, pay attention if you find yourself no longer wanting to open up to them, either. When you don’t want to share details of your day, aren’t interested in letting your S.O. know your true feelings or thoughts about a particular subject, and don’t want to be bothered with opening up to them these are tell-tale signs that you’re drifting apart. Remember, successful and meaningful relationships are built on trust, honesty, and openness.

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