Gaining a son-in-law can be one of the best parts about watching your child fall in love and commit spending their lives with another human being. You might be eager to have a strong relationship with their partner, which might involve including them in family vacations and traditions and finding common hobbies that the two of you can bond over. However, some parents might feel a little wary about getting close to their new son-in-law, whether that’s because of things that have happened in the past or because they don't really like who they are.
Either way, your son-in-law has things they’d like you to know, but are probably a bit scared to say. Read on to find out the 30 things that your son-in-law wants to tell you.
He Will Listen to Your Child’s Needs
A big characteristic of a successful marriage is one where both partners listen to each other. Your son-in-law wants you to know he’s all ears and will listen when your child brings something to the table, even if it's something that’s hard to talk about.
He Will Treat Your Child Right
A big concern you have is that your child is now going to be spending their life with someone else, turning to them for their needs and their advice. Your child’s partner wants you to know that they will be there through good and bad.
He Hopes You’ll Give Him a Fair Chance
You may have some preconceived notions about your child’s partner or have some grudges against him that you haven’t been able to ditch. After the I do's, your son-in-law is hoping for a clean slate and a fair chance.
He Will Keep Your Child Safe
Your son-in-law is eager to show you that he plans to keep your child safe, whether that means watching out for them or being there when situations are challenging, scary, or unpredictable.
He’s Allowed to Make Mistakes
Remember he's part of your family now, and he might make mistakes. And when he does, you can't just write him off.
He’s Never Felt This Way Before
Chances are your son-in-law has been in love before, but the way he feels about your child is something he’s never experienced before.
He Wishes You Could Keep a Secret
Even though you’re not your son-in-law's biological parent, he does hope he can come to you for advice. And when he does, he probably wants to be sure you won't immediately turn around and tell your child.
He Knows How You Really Feel About Him
You might think you’re doing a good job hiding your feelings about your son-in-law, but if you don’t like him, it's probably pretty obvious. He can sense that from miles away.
He Just Wants to Feel Included
Even if for many years you've had traditions that just involve your immediate family and your child, it’s time to start including your son-in-law. He’s now part of the family and deserves to be involved in family events and memories.
He’s Nervous About Being a Dad
If babies are on the couple’s mind, chances are he’s scared to be a dad. While he might not come forward and admit that, he’ll appreciate your advice and guidance before the baby arrives.
He Appreciates Who You Are
Even if you and your son-in-law are completely different, just know he appreciates who you are and that you raised the love of his life.
He Would Love Your Help
It may not be easy for your son-in-law to ask for help, but when you see him struggling or unsure of something, jump in and ask if you can give advice or lend a hand.
He Wants You to Reach Out More
Communication can be a funny thing, because often times both people just wish the other person would pick up the phone and say hello. If you haven’t chatted with your son-in-law in a while, give them a ring and say hello.
He Hopes You’ll Stop Showing Up Unexpectedly
Try not to assume the couple has an open door policy. It can be a little jolting to have you show up unexpectedly. Get in the habit of letting them know when you’re planning on swinging by or joining them for dinner.
He Accepts Imperfections
Nobody is perfect, not even your child. One thing your son-in-law wants you to know is that's OK with him, and that he accepts your child for exactly who they are.
He Values Your Family Traditions
While your family traditions and culture might be very different from the ones your son-in-law are familiar with, he does value who you are and what you stand for and is trying to understand those traditions even more.
He Doesn’t Want Your Child to Feel in the Middle
When arguments or disagreements take place between you and him, he doesn’t want your child to be in the middle. He’d rather you two deal with it on the side, keeping his partner out of it.
He Hopes You’ll Accept His Differences
While he might not be the kind of person you expected your child to end up with, he’s the person they picked. He wishes you’d understand him better and accept who he is.
He Doesn’t Feel Good Enough
Being a son-in-law can make a person feel like a constant third wheel and never good enough for your child. Remind him often of things you appreciate and enjoy about him.
He Wishes You’d Help with the Wedding
He wishes you’d be around more for the wedding plans, whether financially or just to support the couple during what can be a bit of a stressful time.
He Wishes You’d Stop Comparing Him to Exes
What’s in the past should stay in the past. Try not to compare your son-in-law to your child’s other ex-boyfriends.
He Wishes You Didn’t Judge His Hobbies
If your son-in-law's interests are a little outside of the box or just unique, he wishes you’d find a way to support and appreciate him for those things, rather than roll your eyes when he talks about doing them.
He is Wise, Too
Though your son-in-law might be years younger than you, he is wise in his own ways. Don’t make him feel otherwise.
He is Trying to Figure You Out
Relationships can be tricky, and a lot of times when your son-in-law is in the room with you, silent, he’s working hard to figure you out and trying to understand how you really feel about him.
He’s Going to Work Hard
Your son-in-law does not want to let you down. That’s why, behind the scenes, he’s working hard to keep your child happy and to make the relationship stronger and stronger.
He’s Hoping for a Dance at the Wedding
At the wedding, he’s hoping for a memorable dance with his mother-in-law, where kind words can be exchanged and a proper celebration can be had.
He Feels a Little Intimidated
Even if he has a strong personality, he will always feel a little intimidated by the parents of the person he loves dearly.
He Deserves Second Chances
Nobody is perfect and your son-in-law isn’t trying to do wrong. So when he makes a mistake or two, try to give him a second chance rather than swaying your child to leave him behind and quit the marriage.
He Wants to Bond with You
Your son-in-law is crossing his fingers for the day when you have inside jokes, memories, and traditions together so that he can truly feel like a part of the family.
He Can Change
People change over time and your son-in-law will too. Give him patience and positivity as encouragement to make good changes in himself and in the relationship.