The wedding adventure isn't just a big deal for the bride and the groom; it's a big deal for their parents too! Especially for their mothers, who are eager to be there for every single step, whether it's picking out the perfect dress, taste-testing the items that may find their way on the menu, or even choosing the songs the DJ is going to play to get people on the dance floor.
It's easy for the mothers of the bride and the groom to get carried away with every detail, since ultimately, they are proud and excited to shower their children in perfection for the most special day of their lives.
Sometimes the moms get a little too excited and begin micromanaging the vendors, making decisions without the couple, or even referring to the big day as "our wedding."
So moms, listen up! Even if your wedding excitement is enough to practically have you take out a billboard and announce it in the heart of Times Square, remember that there's a time and place to voice your opinion and — above anything else — it's important to remember who this big day is truly about.
It may be a challenge to swallow your "ifs," "ands," or "butts," but it's important to buckle down and take note of these 50 tips so that you can avoid being introduced as the "Momzilla" of the bride or the groom at the bridal shower or the wedding day.
1. Be the point person for the family
Before guests start bombarding the bride and the groom with handfuls of who, what, where, and whens, take the lead and answer these questions before they travel to the bride. Send out a FAQ list with answers a month or so before the wedding so that everyone is on the same page and can devour all of the must-have details.
6. Be specific with how you'd like to help
In addition to just saying the comforting line of, 'I'm there if you need me," also offer in a handful of very specific ways. Tap into what you're good at, whether that be working with color pallets, or organizing decorations, even helping to plan the honeymoon.
7. Volunteer to help out with the nitty gritty
Offer to be hands on with the dirty work. Do they need someone to help them stuff envelopes? What about put together the welcome bags? How about pack and organize boxes for the day of? Make yourself available to help out with some of the less glamorous tasks.
10. Be willing to shed the guest list
If the bride and groom notice that the guest list is way over the headcount they wanted to invite, offer to cut some of your friends or distant relatives first. That way, they can have more wiggle room to invite the people closest to them in their everyday life.
14. Take on the role as the family peacekeeper
If this person doesn't talk to that person, be the person who makes sure they get along and don't get rowdy at the wedding. The last thing the bride needs to experience is Uncle Bill tossing a shoe at Uncle Jimmy, who is sitting three tables to the left.
15. Wait for the bride and bridesmaids to choose their dress before you choose yours
That way, you can see the color scheme that the rest of the bridal party is going to wear before selecting your dress. You don't want to stand out too much from the other members of the bridal party — unless the bride and groom want that.
26. Carry around a mini-survival kit
Put together a tote bag of items you think the bride, groom, and wedding party may need and keep that close to you during the bridal shower, the rehearsal dinner, and on the day of the wedding. Be sure to add an extra pack of tissues, Band-Aids, and even a bag of snacks (just in case!)
30. Give sentimental gifts along the way
If there's a part of your wedding, the bride or groom's childhood, or even items from ancestors, be sure to gift those along the way. It'll be a more thoughtful gift than anything else during the wedding process and remind the couple how much their family is behind them.
36. Learn to love the soon-to-be couple
If you're not entirely sold on the bride or the groom, try to figure out what bothers you about that person and work those kinks out before the wedding. Try not to hold any grudges or negative thoughts toward them during the wedding planning process. Perhaps have a conversation with them early on to fix up your relationship.
38. Help collect the gifts
Lots of people at weddings have wedding gifts on them (in their suit jacket or their purse), but forget to hand them to the bride or groom or don't know where to place them. You can offer to collect gifts and then hand them over to the bride and the groom after the wedding is over.
47. The party isn't over after the "I Do"
After the wedding is over, the couple may need a lot of help organizing gifts and sorting through decorations. Make yourself available for a couple of days after the wedding to help the couple settle in and make sure their new home isn't covered in wrapping paper or shredded envelopes.