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Claire Eliza
Before it's time to put on your tuxedo, lace up your dress shoes, and stare into the eyes of the love of your life during a wedding ceremony you'll never forget, you may find yourself wondering what your role is as the groom.
Everyone knows that as a groom, you'll be spending a lot of quality time with your groomsmen, celebrating and cheers-ing throughout the wedding adventure, but with all that pre-partying fun comes a little bit of work and a lot of support for your better half.
Whether you're down to get dirty with details or you normally stay in the background, letting your SO take charge and plan away, there are still some responsibilities you should add to your to-do list and make sure you're present for, in order to avoid any added stress or spur-of-the-moment fights with your spouse-to-be during the wedding planning process.
So after your engagement has set in and before it's time to walk down the aisle, take a look at these common mistakes grooms find themselves making and vow, right here, right now, to not make them before, during, and even after your starring moment as the groom during your wedding.
Not Sticking to the Budget
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Whitney Neal Studios
When the wedding planning kicks off, you and your partner will be tempted to say yes to everything, too fast and too soon. Take a step back before signing vendor contracts and selecting a venue to come up with a budget and pinky promise each other you'll stick to it.
Forgetting to Announce Your Engagement
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Flora & Flauna; Event Planning by Tall & Small Events; Printing by Czar Press
Right after you pop the question, don't forget to pick up the phone and call your close family members and friends. They'll want to hear it directly from you—not from that Facebook or Instagram photo you post a couple of days later.
Handing Out Verbal Invites
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Sergio Sandona; Event Planning by Julie Lindenman Events; Stationery & Paper Goods by Epoch Design
Fresh off the engagement excitement, you may be tempted to tell people here and there that they'll be invited to the wedding, but try to refrain from tossing out verbal invites. Wait until you sit down with your SO to discuss a concrete guest list.
Calling Your Ex to Announce Your Engagement
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agrobacter / Getty Images
Trust us, your ex will find out soon enough. There's no need to send a text or give them a phone call to notify them. Enjoy the place you are in right now—with the person you're about to marry—and refrain from going backward into the catacombs of past loves.
Skipping Meetings With Your Wedding Vendors
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Ryan Ray; Event Planning by Mindy Weiss Party Consultants
Accompany your other half to meetings with your vendors like the DJ, florist, caterer...you get the picture. These are the vendors you'll shell out the most cash for, so it's important to attend these meetings and give your two cents.
Neglecting Your Wedding Registry
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Jana Williams; Event Planning by RO & Co. Events; Floral Design by Of the Flowers; Paper Products by Copper Willow Paper Studio & Prim & Pixie
Just think of it like shopping for a couple hundred birthday gifts that will help you kick off this new chapter with the love of your life. Be involved when selecting registry items with your spouse-to-be, and if there's something you especially want, ask to have it on the registry—within reason, of course.
Ghosting on the Wedding Planning
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Getty Images
While your partner might be lost in a sea of Pinterest boards and wedding planning magazines, that doesn't mean you should be a ghost during the whole process. Offer to look through their idea books and Excel spreadsheets every so often to stay in the loop.
Not Coordinating With Family Members
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FG Trade / Getty Images
If you have an eager mother or aunt who wants to get involved with the planning, be sure to act as her liaison, making sure she gets in touch with your SO and is kept in the loop. You know the phrase "too many cooks in the kitchen?" The same goes for wedding planning and too many in-laws. (You might end up with two different DJs, florists, cakes, venues...)
Forgetting to Get Groomsmen Gifts
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While being a groomsman is a fun job, it's also a little bit of a time commitment for your friends. Be sure to thank them with a thoughtful gift on the day of the wedding, like a pair of socks, cuff links, or a wallet.
Dropping the Ball When It Comes to Vendor Negotiations
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Juanlu Real
Remember that everything is negotiable—even wedding vendors. Before agreeing to work with someone, ask if there's any wiggle room when it comes to the price. Never settle on a dollar amount that will keep you up at night with stress sweats.
Too Many Surprises
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Larissa Cleveland Photography; Event Planning by Every Elegant Detail
While some surprises can be exciting and fun, keep them to a minimum during the wedding planning process. It's better to openly communicate with your partner about what you want rather than just going ahead and doing it.
Believing That Whatever Happens in Vegas Will Stay in Vegas
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Warner Bros/Neal Peters Collection
Your bachelor party should be a fun time for you and your friends, but remember to remain respectful of your spouse-to-be. If you drink yourself silly or gamble away half of your wedding budget, there's no way you can leave that behind when you board your flight back home.
Forgetting That All Important Groomsmen Talk
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Chi-Chi Ari
Maybe you knew these guys from as far back as kindergarten, but it's still important to have a quick chat with them about their wedding day behavior. Let them know that you want them to have fun, just not the spring-break-in-Mexico kind.
Getting Tipsy the Night Before
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Katie Ruther
Try not to find out the hard way that no one is exempt from hangovers—even the groom. Take it easy the night before to avoid spending quality time with a bottle of aspirin and a pounding headache the morning of your wedding.
Straying From the Day-Of Itinerary
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Picture Me&U
Every hour of the wedding day has been painstakingly scheduled so that everything runs smoothly. If you're planning on fitting in an early morning golf game or a stop at the barber, make sure you leave enough time to get back to the hotel or venue before the events begin.
Downing One Too Many Reception Shots
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Jeremiah & Rachel; Event Planning by Greenwood Events
Your family and friends will all want to say "cheers" with you, so keep count of how many shots you're taking and make sure to set some limits so you're still standing by the end of the night.
Shedding Your Tie Too Early
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Sergio Sandona; Event Planning by Julie Lindenman Events
Sure, you'll want to break it down on the dance floor, but make sure all the formal photos are taken and the toasts have been given before you start taking off your tuxedo shirt or bow tie.
Neglecting to Eat
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Jamila Ree; Event Planning by Plan Prep Party
Never thought you'd forget to eat, did you? On the big day, you may be pulled in so many different directions that you might forget to pick up a fork and try the food and the cake you selected months ago.
Winging Your Vows
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Lauren Fair; Event Planning by Nosara Weddings; Event Design by Fête Urbane; Stationery by Barely Blush Ink
Don't say to yourself that you'll just wing it and make up your vows as you go along. Spend some time before the actual ceremony writing them down and make those wedding vows extra special.
Trusting Your Groomsmen's Fashion Sense
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You may want to trust that they'll order the right tux on time, but it's worth checking in with the guys to avoid finding out on the wedding day that two of them purchased the wrong color shirt or the wrong style shoes.
Trying to Memorize Your Vows
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Anya Kearns; Event Planning by Rekindle Creative; Paper Products by Jessica Lin
If you want to have those vows implanted in your mind, start memorizing them early. But either way, stash your written vows in a pocket in case wedding day nerves cause your mind to go blank.
Not Spending Enough Time on the Dance Floor
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Samm Blake; Event Planning by Bespoke Only
You'll want to try to say hi to everyone at the wedding reception, but remember to have fun, too. Spend some quality time on the dance floor, busting out all those moves you haven't done since your senior prom.
Lending a Hand When It Comes to Thank You Notes
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Ruby May Design
After the big day has come and gone, pitch in some help with the thank you notes, whether it's giving your input on the wording or writing a batch yourself.
Honeymoon Indifference
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Amrit Photography; Floral Design by Da Fiori Floral Design
Think of your honeymoon as a post-wedding celebration for two. If there's a place you've always wanted to go or an activity you've wanted to do, offer suggestions and make the trip something that fits both of your likes and desires.
Not Stopping to Smell the Roses
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Flora & Flauna; Event Planning by Tall & Small Events; Floral Design by Athabod
If you feel that wedding planning is starting to take over your relationship and free time, take a mutual break from the craziness. Go on a staycation or do something that takes both of your minds off the stress of throwing such an extravagant party.
Dismissing a Family Member's Help
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A Heart String; Event Planning by Viva Max Weddings; Cake by Nine Cakes
Ask your mom, sister, aunt, or grandma if she'd like to do something special for the wedding. You can also assign honors along the way, like being a witness for the signing of the marriage license or in charge of picking out the party favors.
Leaving Late RSVP'ers for Your SO to Handle
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Lauren Fair; Event Planning by Nosara Weddings; Event Design by Fête Urbane; Stationery by Barely Blush Ink
If you notice a lot of your family or friends haven't RSVP'ed yet, take charge on contacting them and finding out if they're attending or not.
Missing Out on Some Alone Time
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Jamila Ree; Event Planning by Plan Prep Party
After the ceremony, try to sneak in some alone time with your new spouse. Disappear together for a couple of minutes to take a deep breath, recap your favorite moments from the ceremony, and get excited for the party ahead.