Before it's time to put on your tuxedo, lace up your dress shoes, and stare into the eyes of the love of your life, you may find yourself wondering what your role as the groom entails. While you're expected to enjoy the moment and celebrate each milestone throughout the wedding journey, a little bit of work and a lot of support for your better half is a part of the job too,
So, after your engagement has set in, and before it's time to walk down the aisle, take a look at these common mistakes grooms find themselves making and vow, right here, right now, to not make them before, during, and even after you say "I do."
Not Sticking to the Budget
When the wedding planning kicks off, you and your partner will be tempted to say yes to everything too fast and too soon. Take a step back before signing any vendor contracts, and come up with a budget that's reasonable and one you'll stick to.
Forgetting to Announce Your Engagement
Right after you pop the question, don't forget to pick up the phone and call your close family members and friends. They'll want to hear it directly from you, not from that Facebook or Instagram photo you post a couple of days later.
Handing Out Verbal Invites
Fresh off the engagement excitement, you may be tempted to tell people that they'll be invited to the wedding, but try to refrain from tossing out verbal invites. Wait until you sit down with your partner to discuss a concrete guest list.
Calling Your Ex to Announce Your Engagement
Trust us, your ex will find out soon enough. There's no need to send a text or give them a phone call to notify them. Enjoy the place you are in right now—with the person you're about to marry—and refrain from going back into the catacombs of past loves.
Not Meeting With Your Wedding Vendors
Accompany your other half to meetings with your vendors like the DJ, florist, caterer...you get the picture. These are the vendors you'll shell out the most cash for, so it's important to attend these meetings and give your two cents.
Signing Contracts Too Soon
Before paying any wedding vendor or signing a contract, look it over a couple of times, double-check reviews and other options, and mark up any contract terms you'd like to change or adjust.
Neglecting Your Wedding Registry
When it comes to your registry, just think of it like shopping for hundreds of birthday gifts that will help you kick off this new life chapter. Be involved when selecting registry items with your spouse-to-be, and if there's something you especially want, ask for it to be included—within reason, of course.
Ghosting on the Wedding Planning
While your partner might be lost in a sea of Pinterest boards and wedding-planning magazines, that doesn't mean you should be a ghost during the whole process. Pro tip: Offer to look through idea books and Excel spreadsheets every so often to stay in the loop.
Forgetting to Tip Your Vendors
When you're creating your wedding budget, plan ahead for vendor tips and extra incidentals that may pop up along the way. Keeping aside a couple of hundred dollars now will help ensure that there are no financial surprises later on.
Saying "I Don't Care"
Remember this phrase because it is truly one of the worst things you can say during the wedding planning process! Even if you find yourself indifferent about a certain detail, make an effort to really look at the options and have an opinion either way.
Waiting Until the Last Minute to Get Involved
Stay involved throughout the entire planning process. That way, you won't find yourself waking up the week before your own wedding, wondering what the venue will look like or what time you're supposed to show up.
Forgetting to Get Groomsmen Gifts
While being a groomsman is a fun job, it's also a bit of a time commitment for your friends. Be sure to thank them with a thoughtful gift on the day of the wedding, like a pair of socks, cuff links, or a watch.
Planning Too Many Surprises
While some surprises can be exciting and fun, keep them to a minimum during the wedding planning process. It's better to openly communicate with your partner about what you want rather than just going ahead and doing it.
Pushing Boundaries While on Your Bachelor Party
Your bachelor party should be a fun time for you and your friends, but remember to remain respectful of your spouse-to-be. If you drink yourself silly or gamble away half of your wedding budget, there may be consequences you have to deal with once you return home.
Forgetting to Have a Groomsmen Talk
Maybe you knew these guys from as far back as kindergarten, but it's still important to have a quick chat with them about their wedding day behavior. Let them know that you want them to have fun, just not the spring-break-in-Mexico kind.
If something angers you during the planning process—or even at the wedding—try to take a step back and choose your battles wisely. Kick the negative energy to the sidelines.
Getting Tipsy the Night Before
Let's face it, as much as we try to avoid them, no one is immune from hangovers. Take it easy the night before to avoid spending quality time with a bottle of aspirin and a pounding headache the morning of your wedding.
Taking the Day for Granted
Remember that your wedding day will go by very quickly. Be sure to enjoy every moment and not take a single second of it for granted.
Straying From the Day-Of Itinerary
Every hour of the wedding day has been painstakingly scheduled so that everything runs smoothly. If you're planning on fitting in an early morning golf game or a stop at the barber, make sure you leave enough time to get back to the hotel or venue before the events begin.
Downing One Too Many Reception Shots
Your family and friends will all want to say "cheers" with you, but be sure to keep count of how many shots you're taking. Also, it's important to set some limits so that you're still standing by the end of the night.
Shedding Your Tie Too Early
We know that you'll want to break it down on the dance floor, but make sure all photos are taken before you let loose. Once the formalities are out of the way, though, take off your tie and have the time of your life.
Failing to Help the Morning of Your Wedding
Check-in with your partner the morning of and see if there are any last-minute tasks you can take off their hands. Even if you're not supposed to see each other beforehand, a helpful phone call or even a quick text will do the trick.
Not Comforting Your Partner When Disaster Strikes
More likely than not, something will go wrong on the day of your wedding. So, instead of just saying that everything will all be okay, help your other half come up with a Plan B.
Neglecting to Eat
Never thought you'd forget to eat, did you? On the big day, you may be pulled in so many different directions that you might forget to pick up a fork and try the food. Do not make this mistake and set aside time to fuel your body.
Winging Your Vows
Don't say to yourself that you'll just wing it and make up your vows as you go along. Spend some time before the actual ceremony writing them down, in order to exchange vows that are extra special.
Trusting Your Groomsmen's Fashion Sense
You may want to trust that your groomsmen will order the right suit or tux, but it's worth checking in with them before the big day. This will allow you to sidestep any surprises, like finding out that two of them purchased the wrong color shirt or the wrong style of shoes.
Zoning Out During the Ceremony
There may be tons of distractions during the ceremony (the funny faces your groomsmen are making, for instance), but try to keep your eyes on the prize—your better half.
Trying to Memorize Your Vows
If you want to have those vows implanted in your mind, start memorizing them early. But either way, stash your written vows in your pocket in case wedding day nerves cause your mind to go blank.
Not Spending Enough Time on the Dance Floor
You'll want to try to say hi to everyone at the wedding reception, but remember to have fun, too. Spend some quality time on the dance floor, busting out every move you haven't done since your senior prom.
Forgoing the Handkerchief
Weddings are emotional and even if you're not the one shedding the tears, the people around you will be. Keep a handkerchief or a pack of tissues handy for all the waterworks.
Leaving a Change of Clothes at Home
Pack a change of clothes in case of an impromptu after-party, or if a spilled drink lands on your dress shirt. That way, you'll be prepared for anything.
Not Lending a Hand With Thank You Notes
After the big day has come and gone, pitch in some help with the thank you notes. Whether it's giving your input on the wording or writing a batch yourself, your partner will be grateful for your lending hand.
Think of your honeymoon as a post-wedding celebration for two. If there's a place you've always wanted to go or an activity you've wanted to do, offer suggestions and make the trip something that fits both of your likes and desires.
Running Late on the Wedding Day
The morning of your wedding will be spent with the groomsmen, but no matter what you find yourselves doing, be sure to be ready on time. The photographer will arrive to take pictures at a set hour, and it's best if you all have pants on when the time comes for photos.
Barely Seeing Your Partner at the Wedding
While you'll want to spend time with everyone, remember weddings are about you and your partner. Keep close to each other and remember to enjoy every moment at every portion of the day.
Not Stopping to Smell the Roses
If you feel that wedding planning is starting to take over your relationship and free time, take a mutual break from the craziness. Go on a staycation or do something that takes both of your minds off the stress of throwing such an extravagant party.
Dismissing a Family Member's Help
Ask your mom, dad, sister, aunt, or grandma if they'd like to do something special for the wedding. You can also assign honors along the way, like being a witness for the signing of the marriage license or shopping for party favors.
Forgetting to Give Your Partner a Day-Of Gift
On the morning of the wedding, surprise your sweetheart with a handwritten note or thoughtful gift. This will help set the tone for the special day to come.
Missing Out on Some Alone Time
After the ceremony, try to sneak in some alone time with your new spouse. Disappear together for a couple of minutes to take a deep breath, recap your favorite moments from the ceremony, and get excited for the party ahead.
Forgetting That Weddings Are a Celebration
In the end, your wedding should be a joyous occasion and you shouldn't let anything get in the way of that. Remember that this is a celebration, and one you will be sure to remember for the rest of your life.