50 Mistakes Grooms Always Make

For grooms, the journey from engagement to "I do" is full of potential mistakes. Here are the wedding planning missteps to avoid—and what to do instead

Updated 10/15/19

Photo by Claire Eliza

Before it's time to put on your tuxedo, lace up your dress shoes, and stare into the eyes of the love of your life during a wedding ceremony you'll never forget, you may find yourself wondering what your role is as the groom.

Everyone knows that as a groom, you'll be spending a lot of quality time with your groomsmen, celebrating and cheers-ing throughout the wedding adventure, but with all that pre-partying fun comes a little bit of work and a lot of support for your better half.

Whether you're down to get dirty with details or you normally stay in the background, letting your SO take charge and plan away, there are still some responsibilities you should add to your to-do list and make sure you're present for, in order to avoid any added stress or spur-of-the-moment fights with your spouse-to-be during the wedding planning process.

So after your engagement has set in and before it's time to walk down the aisle, take a look at these common mistakes grooms find themselves making and vow, right here, right now, to not make them before, during, and even after your starring moment as the groom during your wedding.

01 of 50

Not Sticking to the Budget

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When the wedding planning kicks off, you and your partner will be tempted to say yes to everything, too fast and too soon. Take a step back before signing vendor contracts and selecting a venue to come up with a budget and pinky promise each other you'll stick to it.

02 of 50

Forgetting to Announce Your Engagement

Save The Date

Courtesy of Grey Snail Press

Right after you pop the question, don't forget to pick up the phone and call your close family members and friends. They'll want to hear it directly from you—not from that Facebook or Instagram photo you post a couple of days later.

03 of 50

Handing Out Verbal Invites

Checklist

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Fresh off the engagement excitement, you may be tempted to tell people here and there that they'll be invited to the wedding, but try to refrain from tossing out verbal invites. Wait until you sit down with your SO to discuss a concrete guest list.

04 of 50

Calling Your Ex to Announce Your Engagement

Phone in bed

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Trust us, your ex will find out soon enough. There's no need to send a text or give them a phone call to notify them. Enjoy the place you are in right now—with the person you're about to marry—and refrain from going backward into the catacombs of past loves.

05 of 50

Signing on the Dotted Line Too Soon

Contract

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Before paying any wedding vendor or signing a contract, look it over a couple of times, double check reviews and other options, and mark up any contract terms you'd like to change or adjust.

06 of 50

Skipping Meetings With Your Wedding Vendors

Meetings

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Accompany your other half to meetings with your vendors like the DJ, florist, caterer...you get the picture. These are the vendors you'll shell out the most cash for, so it's important to attend these meetings and give your two cents.

07 of 50

Neglecting Your Wedding Registry

Registry shopping

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Just think of it like shopping for a couple hundred birthday gifts that will help you kick off this new chapter with the love of your life. Be involved when selecting registry items with your spouse-to-be, and if there's something you especially want, ask to have it on the registry—within reason, of course.

08 of 50

Ghosting on the Wedding Planning

Bride sitting on the stairs

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While your partner might be lost in a sea of Pinterest boards and wedding planning magazines, that doesn't mean you should be a ghost during the whole process. Offer to look through their idea books and Excel spreadsheets every so often to stay in the loop.

09 of 50

Forgetting to Tip Your Wedding Vendors

Reception table

Photo by onelove Photography

When you're creating your wedding budget, plan ahead for vendor tips and extra incidentals that may pop up along the way. Keeping aside a couple hundred dollars now will help ensure that there are no financial surprises later on.

10 of 50

Saying "I Don't Care."

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Remember this phrase because it is truly one of the worst things you can say during the wedding planning process! Even if you find yourself indifferent about a certain detail, make an effort to really look at the options and have an opinion either way.

11 of 50

Not Coordinating with Family Members

Wedding party

Photo by Corbin Gurkin

If you have an eager mother or aunt who wants to get involved with the planning, be sure to act as her liaison, making sure she gets in touch with your SO and is kept in the loop. You know the phrase "too many cooks in the kitchen?" The same goes for wedding planning and too many in-laws. (You might end up with two different DJs, florists, cakes, venues...)

12 of 50

Waiting Until the Last Minute to Get Involved

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Stay involved throughout the entire planning process. That way, you won't find yourself waking up the week before your own wedding, wondering what the venue will look like or what time you're supposed to show up.

13 of 50

Forgetting to Get Groomsmen Gifts

Groomsman gift

Photo by Leslee Mitchell Photography

While being a groomsman is a fun job, it's also a little bit of a time commitment for your friends. Be sure to thank them with a thoughtful gift on the day of the wedding, like a pair of socks, cuff links, or a wallet.

14 of 50

Dropping the Ball When It Comes to Vendor Negotiations

Father of the Bride

Courtesy of Buena Vista/Neal Peters Collection

Remember that everything is negotiable—even wedding vendors. Before agreeing to work with someone, ask if there's any wiggle room when it comes to the price. Never settle on a dollar amount that will keep you up at night with stress sweats.

15 of 50

Too Many Surprises

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While some surprises can be exciting and fun, keep them to a minimum during the wedding planning process. It's better to openly communicate with your partner about what you want rather than just going ahead and doing it.

16 of 50

Believing That Whatever Happens in Vegas Will Stay in Vegas

The Hangover Scene

Courtesy of Warner Bros/Neal Peters Collection

Your bachelor party should be a fun time for you and your friends, but remember to remain respectful of your spouse-to-be. If you drink yourself silly or gamble away half of your wedding budget, there's no way you can leave that behind when you board your flight back home.

17 of 50

Forgetting That All Important Groomsmen Talk

Groomsmen

Photo by Wookie Photography

Maybe you knew these guys from as far back as kindergarten, but it's still important to have a quick chat with them about their wedding day behavior. Let them know that you want them to have fun, just not the spring-break-in-Mexico kind.

18 of 50

Picking Fights

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If something angers you during the planning process—or even at the wedding—try to take a step back and choose your battles wisely. Kick the negative energy to the sidelines.

19 of 50

Becoming a Groomzilla

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Thought only brides-to-be could take on that monster-like behavior? Well, you're wrong! If you find yourself obsessing over every detail, every decision, every moment of the wedding, take a step back and remember what this whole day is really about.

20 of 50

Turning the Limo Into a Party Bus

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It's okay to pop a couple bottles of champagne en route, but keep the partying in your limo under control—especially if you're sharing a ride with Grandma and Great Aunt Bertha.

21 of 50

Dropping the Details

Flowerpot Place Cards

Photo by Caili Helsper

As you're planning your wedding, tons of important details will be cropping up left and right. Keep them all organized and in one place, so you and your other half can reference them whenever need be.

22 of 50

Getting Tipsy the Night Before

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Try not to find out the hard way that no one is exempt from hangovers—even the groom. Take it easy the night before to avoid spending quality time with a bottle of aspirin and a pounding headache the morning of your wedding.

23 of 50

Taking the Day for Granted

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Remember that your wedding day will go by very quickly. Be sure to enjoy every moment and not take a single second of it for granted.

24 of 50

Straying From the Day-Of Itinerary

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Every hour of the wedding day has been painstakingly scheduled so that everything runs smoothly. If you're planning on fitting in an early morning golf game or a stop at the barber, make sure you leave enough time to get back to the hotel or venue before the events begin.

25 of 50

Wearing White Socks With Your Tuxedo

Groomsmen in crazy socks

Photo by Studio Mynt

Make sure your tux and socks actually go together before the wedding. And if you and your groomsmen are opting for the crazy sock look, make sure they can't be seen for every photo. (Save them for the fun ones only!)

26 of 50

Packing a Flask

Groomsmen essentials

Photo by Laura Murray Photography

You have an open bar for a reason. Leave that pocket-size wingman at home on your wedding day.

27 of 50

Forgetting to Dance With Grandma

Dancing with grandma

Photo by Jeff Cooke

Make sure to spend some quality time with Grandma and other close family members on the big day. Whether it's taking photos or grooving with them on the dance floor, they'll love being a part of these special moments.

28 of 50

Downing One Too Many Reception Shots

Mini Tequila Shots

Photo by KT Merry

Your family and friends will all want to say "cheers" with you, so keep count of how many shots you're taking and make sure to set some limits so you're still standing by the end of the night.

29 of 50

Shedding Your Tie Too Early

Groom getting ready

Photo by Alison Conklin Photography

Sure, you'll want to break it down on the dance floor, but make sure all the formal photos are taken and the toasts have been given before you start taking off your tuxedo shirt or bow tie.

30 of 50

Failing to Help Your Partner the Morning of Your Wedding

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Check in with your SO the morning of and see if there are any last minute tasks you can take off their hands. Even if you're not supposed to see each other beforehand, a helpful phone call or even a quick text will do the trick.

31 of 50

Being a Passive Groom

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Be your spouse-to-be's voice of reason and get hands-on and involved with any details or decisions that they need your help to make.

32 of 50

Not Comforting Your SO When Disaster Strikes

Bride and groom in the rain

Photo by Ryan Ray Photography

Something will go wrong, so instead of just saying that it will all be okay, help your other half come up with a Plan B.

33 of 50

Neglecting to Eat

Wedding spread

Photo by Cooper Carras Photography

Never thought you'd forget to eat, did you? On the big day, you may be pulled in so many different directions that you might forget to pick up a fork and try the food and the cake you selected months ago.

34 of 50

Winging Your Vows

Vows

Photo by Paul Robert Berman Photography

Don't say to yourself that you'll just wing it and make up your vows as you go along. Spend some time before the actual ceremony writing them down and make those wedding vows extra special.

35 of 50

Trusting Your Groomsmen's Fashion Sense

Groom's suit

Photo by Jose Villa

You may want to trust that they'll order the right tux on time, but it's worth checking in with the guys to avoid finding out on the wedding day that two of them purchased the wrong color shirt or the wrong style shoes.

36 of 50

Zoning Out During the Ceremony

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There may be tons of distractions during the ceremony (the funny faces your groomsmen are making, for instance), but try to keep your eyes on the prize—your better half.

37 of 50

Trying to Memorize Your Vows

Vows

Photo by Readyluck

If you want to have those vows implanted in your mind, start memorizing them early. But either way, stash your written vows in a pocket in case wedding day nerves cause your mind to go blank.

38 of 50

Not Spending Enough Time on the Dance Floor

First dance

Photo by Ashley Sawtelle

You'll want to try to say hi to everyone at the wedding reception, but remember to have fun, too. Spend some quality time on the dance floor, busting out all those moves you haven't done since your senior prom.

39 of 50

Forgoing the Handkerchief

Vows

Photo by Milanes Photography

Weddings are emotional and even if you're not the one shedding the tears, the people around you will be. Keep a handkerchief or a pack of tissues handy for all the waterworks.

40 of 50

Leaving a Change of Clothes at Home

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Pack a change of clothes in case of an impromptu after party or a spilled drink on your dress shirt. That way, you'll be prepared for anything.

41 of 50

Lending a Hand When It Comes to Thank You Notes

Thank You Card

Courtesy of Ruby May Design

After the big day has come and gone, pitch in some help with the thank you notes, whether it's giving your input on the wording or writing a batch yourself.

42 of 50

Honeymoon Indifference

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Think of your honeymoon as a post-wedding celebration for two. If there's a place you've always wanted to go or an activity you've wanted to do, offer suggestions and make the trip something that fits both of your likes and desires.

43 of 50

Running Late on the Wedding Day

Pocket-watch and ring

Photo by EE Photography

The morning of your wedding will be spent with the groomsmen, but no matter what you find yourselves doing, be sure to be ready on time. The photographer will arrive to take pictures and it's best if you all have pants on when the time comes for photos.

44 of 50

Barely Seeing Your Partner at Your Own Wedding

Groomsmen

Photo by Chloe Moore Photography

While you'll want to spend time with everyone, remember weddings are about the two people getting married. Keep close to each other and remember to enjoy the day together.

45 of 50

Not Stopping to Smell the Roses

Couple kissing

Photo by Elizabeth Messina

If you feel that wedding planning is starting to take over your relationship and free time, take a mutual break from the craziness. Go on a staycation or do something that takes both of your minds off the stress of throwing such an extravagant party.

46 of 50

Dismissing a Family Member's Help

Bridal Party

Photo by Troy Grover Photographers

Ask your mom, sister, aunt, or grandma if she'd like to do something special for the wedding. You can also assign honors along the way, like being a witness for the signing of the marriage license or in charge of picking out the party favors.

47 of 50

Leaving Late RSVP'ers for Your SO to Handle

RSVP Card

Courtesy of Brides Fine Wedding Papers

If you notice a lot of your family or friends haven't RSVP'ed yet, take charge on contacting them and finding out if they're attending or not.

48 of 50

Forgetting to Give Your Spouse-To-Be a Little Something

Bride reading wedding note

Photo by Kate Neal

On the morning of the wedding, surprise your sweetheart with a handwritten note or thoughtful gift. This will help set the tone of the special day to come.

49 of 50

Missing Out on Some Alone Time

Couple kissing

Photo by Jen Huang

After the ceremony, try to sneak in some alone time with your new spouse. Disappear together for a couple of minutes to take a deep breath, recap your favorite moments from the ceremony, and get excited for the party ahead.

50 of 50

Forgetting That Weddings Are a Celebration

First dance kiss

Photo by Shaun Menary Photography

In the end, your wedding should be a joyous occasion and you shouldn't let anything get in the way of that. You're celebrating your forever love, after all!

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