31 Of The Best Sex Tips of All Time

Here are the keys to an amazing sex life

Updated 06/19/18

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A woman really does need a comprehensive list of every tip to have the most orgasms and fulfilling sex life possible. From sex toys, to the clitoris, to fantasy—we know you have questions!

Don’t you wish all the best sex tips ever were in one place? Wouldn’t it be cool if you could bookmark an article and reference it all the time?

It’s your lucky day! We have 31 of the best sex tips of all time right here. Check out our gallery for the best sex of your life.

Gigi Engle is a sex educator and writer living in Chicago. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @GigiEngle.

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1. Ask your partner what he or she likes

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Communication is a huge part of satisfying sexual experiences. Ask your partner what feels good, what positions work for him or her and how they like to be touched. Let your partner be the center of attention sometimes. And then switch so you get your turn to be worshipped and pleased. Just remember, talk it through and listen. The best sex is sex that everyone enjoys.

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2. Lube, lube, lube

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Lube is the holy grail. Always use lube. No matter what the sexual activity in which you are engaging, use lube. It creates a barrier on the skin to keep slipperiness in, and friction out. No matter how wet your vagina gets on it’s own, lube is still a must. Plus, you’ll have more orgasms overall.

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3. Masturbate

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Masturbation is a healthy, normal part of life and it is totally OK to keep on masturbating when you’re in a relationship. It keeps your nerve endings primed and ready for all other partnered activities. Studies even show that women who masturbate more often are more interested in partnered sex overall.

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4. Take the pressure off of orgasm

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Orgasms are fun and if you want that to be your end game, that’s totally fine. It’s up to you. The thing is, if we only see successful sexual play as one that ends with an orgasm, you’ll wind up disappointed sometimes. Instead of making orgasm the end-all-be-all of sex, focus on pleasure. Pleasure is wonderful for its own sake. If something feels good, enjoy it. If you have an orgasm (or a few), great. If not, you still had a wonderful time.

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5. Find a position you love

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This may seem obvious, but it does take some experimentation. We don’t mean you should find your one magical unicorn sex position and then only do that one thing for the rest of your life, but knowing which position offers the most orgasms is a useful trip to have up your sleeve.

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6. Give more oral sex

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Oral sex, no matter how long you’ve been married, will be a huge part of a happy and healthy sex life. This goes both ways. You should be receiving just as often as you’re getting. Oral sex breeds closeness and intimacy. It helps us avoid the sex ruts we all dread. Don’t skip out on foreplay. Oral sex is the best!

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7. Try dirty talk and sexting

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Sexting is like virtual pre-foreplay. If you can keep up a steamy conversation for most of an afternoon, you’ll be itching to get naked as soon as you get home from work. Then, you can talk dirty to your partner during sex. It just makes everything feel taboo and wrong in the best possible way.

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8. Keep up a sex routine

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Sex is a super critical part of our intimate lives. When you’re busy, sometimes sex stops seeming like the most important thing. Often we push sex aside for other things. Make sure you remember that sex keeps your intimacy intact. Even if you have to put sex on the G-cal, be sure you’re having it regularly. It keeps you close to your partner.

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9. Try a couple’s toy

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A couple’s vibrator is an amazing way to up the game on your sexual intercourse game. If you’re having penetrative sex, a couple’s toy delivers the clitoral stimulation you need. In many cases, handsfree! Check out toys like the Fin, We-Vibe Sync, or even a c-ring like the Pivot.

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10. Listen to your partner’s body

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Pay attention to the verbal and physical cues your partner is giving you during sex activity. If you’re going down on a female partner and she’s moaning and pushing her hips into your face, you should probably keep doing that thing. If a certain sexual position makes her tense up or wince, try something else. When it doubt, always ask.

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11. Have an orgasm before intercorse

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Studies have shown that women who have an orgasm before sexual penetration have more satisfying experiences. It takes some work to get a vulva and vagina properly aroused for intercourse. Take the time to make sure you’re ready to go. You can use your fingers, your partner’s mouth, or a toy.

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12. Explore your partner’s erogenous zones

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Every single person’s body is different. What one person likes, another may not. Take time to get to know where your body finds pleasure (other than his or her genitals). Stimulate the neck, inner thighs, backs of the thighs, and ears. There are likely multiple places that up the ante on sexual enjoyment. Have your partner lie back and relax while you have an adventure.

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13. Don’t fake orgasms

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Your partner is not a mind reader and faking orgasms is doing neither of you any favors. Be open and communicative about what feels good and what doesn’t. If something doesn’t feel good, but you fake an orgasm, your partner is going to think you want him or her to do that thing again. Just don’t fake it.

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14. Check the condom

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If condoms are your primary form of birth control, always be sure to check it for abrasions or tears before you use it. Lube it up both on the inside and outside with water-based lubricant before putting it on. Be sure you’re putting it on correctly every time.

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15. Watch each other masturbate

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Masturbation is a healthy and normal activity, even when you’re in a committed, long-term relationship. Watching each other masturbate, either your partner watching you or you them, can be super erotic. Another sexy twist? Masturbate side-by-side and enjoy the view. This is a great trick for when you’re feeling a bit frisky, but full-blown fooling around sounds too tiring. Convenience aside, it’s also just plain hot.

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16. Bring your vibrator into bed

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Women need clitoral stimulation in order to have an orgasm most of the time. Don’t be afraid to bring your favorite toy into the sack. There are plenty of great options to choose from. You don’t have to choose something enormous if you don’t want to. You can use your vibrator on yourself, or have your partner use it on you. They may even enjoy having it used on them, too!

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17. Try the “sit to stand” position

Couple in bed in black and white.

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This is one of our favorite “lazy girl” sex positions. Lie on the end of the end, with your butt at the edge. Have your partner enter you, standing at the edge of the bed. You can spread your legs for optimal clitoral contact, or put your legs on his or her shoulders for deeper penetration.

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18. Expect more from your quickies

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When you have a quickie, it doesn’t need to be this orgasm-less one-and-done thing. Bring a sex toy in on the action, choose a position that you find hot. Quickie is not the same as “sans pleasure.” Take more pride in your fast sex sessions. And don’t forget the lube.

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19. Try an altered cowgirl position

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Cowgirl is fun for about three seconds. The thigh burn is all too real. To make being on top easier, try the position leaned in. Place your arms on either side of your partner’s face, leaning in. You can then slide back and forth, getting optimal clitoral contact with the cardio disaster.

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20. Give a little light bondage a try

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You don’t have to hit up a dungeon or buy a leather corset to give some light kink a go. Use your partner's tie or a shirt to lightly tie their hands above the head. You can also use a tee shirt to make a mock blindfold. Interested in a little spanking? Grab a plastic or wooden spoon from the kitchen. It’s DIY BDSM.

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21. Pee after sex

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You don’t have to jump up the minute you’re finished to hit the bathroom, but get up and go within 10 minutes. When you have sex, your urethra fills with potentially harmful bacteria. You want to expel it when you’re finished getting busy. Have some cuddle time, just be mindful. You don’t want to end up with a raging UTI.

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22. Treat yourself to sexy things

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It doesn’t matter what it is that makes you feel sexy, it only matters that it does. Whether it’s shopping for new lingerie, getting a relaxing massage, buying a new vibrator, or dousing your wrists in lavender oil, take some time for you. Your mind plays an enormous role in sexual arousal. Allow it to be a part of your self-seduction.

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23. Share your fantasies

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It’s sexy to share your fantasies with your partner. Whether it be a role play scene where they’re the handyperson coming to fix the sink or a ravishment scene, talking about these saucy thoughts is a huge turn on. It’s like verbal foreplay. Plus, you might discover that you share some of the same ideas, and even want to act them out.

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24. Try simple tantric sex moves to increase intimacy

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Tantric sex has been used to improve sex and spiritual connection for thousands of years. Don’t sleep on the Kamasutra. It is some tried and true goodness. Stick to easy-to-pull off positions like The Lotus. Sit on your partner’s lap face to face. Rock back and forth. Utilize a lot of eye-contact.

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25. Try different oral sex positions

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Change up the way you receive oral sex to experience different kinds of clitoral stimulation. Have your partner lie on the bed, climb onto his or her face, using your hands for support against the wall. Feeling their mouth from below will be a real game-changer. Don’t be afraid to get oral sex in all kinds of different ways.

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26. Give positive affirmation during and after sex

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If something feels good, let your partner know. It feels good to feel wanted and like your sex skills are top notch. Both you and your partner need to be open about what’s working (and what’s not). The more you get to know exactly what makes your body tick, the better sex gets.

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27. Pay attention to the head of his penis

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If you have a cis-male partner, pay particular attention to the head of his penis. This is the most nerve-rich area of the penis. The coronal ridge is a heart-shaped indent under the top of the head. Run your tongue over this spot during blowjobs. It will rock his world.

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28. Have an old-fashioned make out session

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Sometimes your sex life can use some organic, relaxed romance. Not everything has to lead to sexual touching, oral sex, or intercourse. Take time to invest in kissing. Kiss your partner as often as you can. If you see him or her washing dishes and they’re looking especially cute, sneak in a makeout between soapy plates.

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29. Watch porn together

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Porn is not a solo activity and it certainly isn’t limited to the low quality, budget gang bangs you find on RedTube and Porn Hub. Find porn that turns both you and your partner on. You can watch it together, have sex while it’s playing, or mutually masturbate.

Check out this list of recommendations for some excellent, well-made films.

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30. Try edging for stronger orgasms

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Orgasm occurs in four stages: excitement, plateau, climax (orgasm), and resolution. Edging is a technique you can use to make orgasms explosive beyond belief by driving you to the plateau and back down. When you’re about to have orgasm, stop all stimulation for a few minutes. Try making out or touching your partner. Then, have your partner start touching you again. Make sure they don’t let you come. Do this three or four times. By the time you finally allow yourself over the edge, your orgasm will be incredible.

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31. Remind your partner how sexy they are

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When you’ve been with someone for a long time, sometimes you forget to remind each other how attractive you find each other. Never, ever stop telling your partner what a hot POA they are. You’ll definitely get more action and have more orgasms if your partner feels sexy. You may not realize how important verbal compliments are, but they are very important.

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