Whether or not you're a poetry buff, you may have heard the phrase, "Nothing gold can stay," which happens to be the title of a 1923 poem by Robert Frost. It means that nothing extraordinary can last forever, so enjoy it while you can. When it comes to falling in love, Robert Frost may have been right on the money: At the beginning of your relationship, you and your partner may have been all smiles and passion, but after some time, those euphoric feelings have faded, and you're left reminiscing on the good times.
That said, falling out of love is common—especially if you had a whirlwind romance at the start. One thing to keep in mind: If you feel like you're falling out of love, that does not mean you don't love your partner anymore; it just means that those intense feelings you used to experience at the thought of your partner aren't quite there anymore. You may feel pangs of guilt about your faded feelings, but that doesn't mean you should stay in a relationship that doesn't bring you joy. Of course, the last thing you'd want to do is hurt this person, but it's imperative that you listen to your own heart and do what's best for you.
If you're wondering whether or not you're in love with your partner still, be on the lookout for these six tell-tale signs.
You’re Not Excited To Spend Time Together
One of the first (and perhaps most clear) signs that you're falling out of love with your partner is that you don't feel very excited about the prospect of spending time together. It may feel like a stark shift compared to how inseparable you two were in the beginning, but it happens. For instance, if you find yourself making plans every day of the week because you'd rather spend time with anyone but your partner, that's not a great sign that this relationship has a bright future.
It's nothing to feel guilty about, but it is an opportunity to reflect on your relationship and consider what you want out of it.
You’re Not Open With Your Partner
When you find yourself wanting to share your life with someone is an exciting thing. After all, opening up is an excellent way for someone to get to know you. However, if you are falling out of love with your partner, you may find your desire to share growing smaller and smaller.
While you may have once been completely forthright, honest, and more than willing to share your inner-most feelings and emotions, you're suddenly not that interested in discussing with your partner what's really on your mind. Connecting with someone you're dating is a huge part of any successful relationship, so if you would always rather keep the conversation light and easy rather than tell him what's really on your mind, now may be a good time to call it quits.
You Seek Out Opportunities To Avoid Your Partner
Would you rather spend time alone or with others over spending time with your partner? You may find yourself going out of your way to plan nights out with your group of friends, seeing movies by yourself just to get away, or even taking the long way home from work to avoid having to be with your partner for a moment longer than you have to. In other words, when you’re trying to find different ways to be without your significant other, it’s clear that your feelings for this person are now without love.
If you find yourself avoiding your partner, take a step back, and think about why you're doing this. Did they do something that upset you, and your anger or hurt feelings are keeping you from wanting to be near them, or is it something more significant that may bring about the end of your relationship?
You Choose Silence Over Disagreements With Your Partner
Popular opinion: No one likes to argue, but sometimes you have to in order to strengthen your bond. For instance, if it hurts your feelings when you send them a text and in the hours it takes them to respond, they've posted on Instagram, talking to your S.O. about it (instead of assuming they'll just know by acting passive-aggressive) will improve the relationship. However, if you feel like you'd rather just keep quiet about the things they're doing that annoy or upset you instead of having a discussion about it, you may start becoming complacent in your relationship. Our advice? Talk it through with someone unbiased and get their opinion.
If you let something build for too long without saying something to your partner, it may have grown into a bigger deal in your head than it actually is, which could give you an inflated sense of hurt.
You Feel Hopeless About Your Future
An added sign is simply based on how you're feeling about your future as a couple. If you feel unhappy, trapped, or afraid of the idea of being with this person for the long-run, the simple solution is that you end it. Chances are if you're this unhappy in your relationship, your partner probably is too.
Some people may worry that if they're not looking forward to a future with their partner, they may fear commitment, but that definitely isn't the case. Being excited about your future with someone takes a lot more than a willingness to be in a relationship; you need to be in love with the person, too.
You’re Longing for Someone Else
If you've been in a monogamous relationship with your partner for a long time, it is totally normal for you to develop a crush on someone else—as long as you don't act on it. After all, you're only human, and you can't help finding the beautiful stranger sitting across from you on the commute to work is sexually attractive.
However, your innocent crush can become a problem if it minimizes your desire for your own partner. If you feel like you'd rather be intimate with someone else over the person you're in a relationship with, it may be time to consider where you want this relationship to go. On the other hand, you may want to consider an open relationship.