Waiting for your partner to tell you they love you can feel like an eternity. You may long to hear them say those three magic words so that you can finally know how they really feel about you, especially if you're in love with them. But rather than constantly wondering "does my partner love me?" and sending your brain into an exhausting spiral of evaluative "what if?" scenarios, there are key signs that you can look for to clue you in that your S.O. has fallen in love with you. So, worry no more. We spoke with psychology expert Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., on how to spot the telltale signs of a lovestruck partner.
Meet the Expert
Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., ABPP, is a professor emerita of psychological and brain sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. She is also a speaker and author of over 20 books on adult development.
Read on for the seven signs that your partner is in love with you.
They Would Do Anything for You
Just as the basic premise of almost every love song claims, when someone is in love with you, they'll do anything just to make you smile. They will bend over backward to make sure that you're happy, and they always have your best interests at heart. Whether it's planning fun dates, defending you, or lending a helping hand, it's a sign that your partner is in love with you when you're prioritized and your needs are always met. They derive pleasure by bringing you joy. "Does your partner defend you when someone else criticizes you, or does he or she join in the fray? We certainly know from great literature that people who truly care about each other will risk their own well-being for the other's welfare," says Krauss Whitbourne.
They Show Gratitude
When a partner goes out of their way to frequently thank you for actions big or small, whether it's for dropping them off at the airport, picking up dinner, or being there for them when they need you, their consistent display of gratitude is a sign of love. When a person is grateful for having you in their life and isn't afraid to show it, this is a reflection of how thankful they are to have you as a partner. It also showcases that they value both your time and effort, as well as you as a person, because their gratitude stems from the realization of how valuable these things are as they're being selflessly expended for their personal needs.
If you're wondering exactly how your partner feels about you, it's important to take a closer look at how they treat you. Are they kind, respectful, and warm, or are they distant, dismissive, and degrading? When you're trying to figure out if your partner's in love with you, words, as well as actions, speak volumes regarding their true feelings about you.
They Open Up to You
If your partner is in love with you, they'll want to fully open up to you about themselves. Take note if your partner tells you deeply intimate information about different aspects of their life and isn't afraid to be totally vulnerable around you. By sharing a lesser-known part of themselves with you, they're showing you just how important you are and that they want to get closer to you. When your significant other lets you in and feels comfortable speaking candidly about their family, past, or other personal stories and anecdotes, your partner's helping to make your relationship even stronger by finding new ways to connect with you. Vulnerability is indicative of trust, whether that be building it or having already cultivated it.
They're Excited About Your Future Together
Have you and your partner made long-term plans? Do they speak openly and candidly about their hopes and dreams for the future of your relationship? When someone's in love with you, they won't be afraid to make long-term plans with you and will even feel comfortable talking about your life together as a couple. Whether you plan to attend a wedding together that's months away or you talk about where you see yourself living in five years, their excitement and passion for the future are really signs of their excitement, passion, and love for you.
They Fully Trust You
Trust is at the core of any loving, happy, and healthy relationship, so if you're wondering if your S.O. is actually in love with you, another unmistakable sign is that they completely trust you. "A partner who doesn’t question where you are if you come home late or doesn’t snoop through your cell phone bills is showing the kind of trust that indicates true caring," Krauss Whitbourne says. When your significant other trusts you wholeheartedly and feels they can rely on you for support, guidance, and encouragement, it can grow into a deep love over time.
They Want to Spend Quality Time With You
When a partner is in love with you, they'll do everything they can to be able to spend time with you. They want their weekends to revolve around you and they'll look for new opportunities to see you, hang out with you, and be around you. And even when they can't be there, they'll text or call you so that you can still be in touch when you're apart. "Although both of you may be tied up with work, family, and other commitments, someone who truly cares about you will use whatever time is left over to have some time together alone," Krauss Whitbourne explains. Making the connection with you, regardless of what medium they choose, is a priority to them, which means you won't come secondary (or worse) in their lives.