After months and months of mapping out your seating chart and choosing the right shade of linens, you’re probably in desperate need of a post-wedding vacation to unwind, relax, and spend some alone time with your new spouse. Whether you’re jetting off to the Swiss Alps or keeping it more local with a visit to Charleston, your honeymoon is a once-in-a-lifetime trip filled with new experiences and opportunities to connect on a deeper level with your partner.
While going away with your person certainly creates the right conditions to bond, there are certain pitfalls that can get in the way of increasing your connection. After speaking with relationship and travel experts, we’ve compiled a list of the most common honeymoon blunders couples usually make.
Meet the Expert
- Figs O’Sullivan is a relationship expert with 20 years of experience and the chief empathy officer at Empathi, which offers online therapy for couples and individuals.
- Allison Kobasky is the co-owner of Over the Moon Vacations, a luxury travel and honeymoon planning company. She has been working in the travel industry for 10 years.
- Dr. Chaka McAlpin is a licensed marriage and family therapist with 14 years of experience. She provides counseling and therapy services to those in the Los Angeles area.
Having High Expectations
You’ve just decided to spend the rest of your life with your person, so you probably have high hopes for your first trip as a married couple. While it’s completely normal to feel excited about your honeymoon, expecting to only feel pure bliss without running into any issues isn’t realistic. “Often, what comes with greater expectations of connection and joy together is a greater chance of being triggered and disappointed, which can result in a negative cycle between you,” Figs O’Sullivan of Empathi explains. Accept that not everything will go according to plan. An imperfect honeymoon doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed; it’s just part of life.
From crowded airports to trip delays, traveling can be stressful. Instead of lashing out at your partner if something outside of your control happens, manage your frustration in other ways, whether it’s taking a few deep breaths or collecting yourself in the bathroom. Blaming your significant other will only lead to resentment and hurt feelings. Allison Kobasky of Over the Moon Vacations suggests reframing how you view unpredictable situations. “If anything goes wrong on your special trip, just know that it will only make your honeymoon story that much more entertaining when you tell it to your kids one day,” she says.
Talking About Large Issues
The purpose of a honeymoon is to deepen your bond and enjoy one another’s company, not hash out past arguments or relationship problems. “While trip logistics can be stressful, once the honeymoon begins, the couple should focus on relaxation and pleasure,” therapist Dr. Chaka McAlpin suggests. If there are still unresolved issues once you head back home, she advises scheduling a session with a marital counselor.
Spending Too Much Time Socializing
Meeting new people is an exciting part of traveling, but it’s important to limit socializing with others. Since your honeymoon is an intimate trip for two, spend as much time with your spouse as possible. “Don’t avoid connecting with others who you meet, but stay focused on fulfilling the primary intention of the trip: to prioritize ‘us,’” O’Sullivan recommends.