How to Avoid a Wedding Fight with Your Sister
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Give Peace a Chance
The best way to avoid conflict is by nipping it in the bud. “The wise bride is the one who makes an effort first,” says Peter Goldenthal, author of Why Can’t We Get Along: Healing Adult Sibling Relationships. A few ways to ease the tension:
Sit down and have a heart-to heart. Be gentle—tell her that you really want her there with you and that you need her support.
Ask her to help you with a wedding chore that she’d enjoy, and see how she responds. Just remember: ”You can’t say ‘take care of the flowers,’ then complain about the centerpieces she chooses,” says Goldenthal.
Show her some respect. Consult her about potentially controversial issues like the bridesmaids’ dresses, and she may meet you halfway.
After an engagement, siblings can feel left behind. “Do something fun, just the two of you, that has nothing to do with the wedding,” says Lewis. She’ll realize that she’s still important in your life.
If all else fails… “Write a note to her a few days before the wedding,” says Lewis. “Tell her that you know there’s been a lot of tension, and that you’re at fault, too. Then ask her to put everything aside until after the wedding.”
*Names and details have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.