How to Create a Wedding Budget
Continued (page 3 of 3)
Mom and Dad should be told your initial wishes about the wedding, such as the number of guests, time of year and formality, so that they know the scale of the wedding (and also so that they don't try to pressure you into having the wedding of their dreams!). With open communication, parents can tell you how much they were planning to contribute, or they can ask you to help them figure out what a wedding costs in your area. You'll get much better results when you invite parents to participate and allow them to state what they're comfortable with, show them your priority list and share your excitement about the wedding planning process than if you just tell them what your dream wedding is going to cost or try to guilt-trip them into contributing more than they can afford (NEVER say your future in-laws are giving $X,000 - keep all donations discreet.)
Now if you initially told your parents that you're paying for the wedding but time has passed, expenses have piled up, and you now need parental help, it's fine to be direct: "We really wanted to foot the bill ourselves, but even with our modest plans things have mushroomed to greater expense than we expected. So if your offer to help with a financial contribution is still on the table, we'd love to take you up on it." Being direct like this is always going to improve your odds of success.
Check out some more of Sharon's books (and her blog!) at her web site, SharonNaylor.net.