Q: I was married by a justice of the peace in 1994. Now that we're older and can afford it, I'd like to have a formal wedding with the works. Can I wear a white dress with a train and a veil? Do we have to hold the ceremony on our anniversary? And how do we tell guests that we don't expect gifts?

A: Many couples renew their vows with a traditional ceremony, but there are a few dos and don'ts. White dress: Do. (Nowadays, white is regarded as a symbol of the joy ofa wedding.) Train and veil: Don't. (Both are usually worn by a woman who hasn't yet been married.) You can choose any date you want; couples who renew on their wedding anniversary do so for sentimental reasons. Finally, it's inappropriate to mention anything about gifts—even the fact that you're discouraging them—when sending wedding invitations; the best way to let guests know that you don't expect presents is by word of mouth. Have your mom, sister and other close relatives spread the word

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