Q: My fiancé and I are having a destination wedding—how do we create the guest list? Should we still send invitations to everyone on the save-the-date list, even if some have told us they can't come?

A: You can invite whomever you wish to your destination wedding, but you can't expect all your guests to able to afford the trip. Even if they could, many may not be able to schedule that much time off. So be realistic. Do you want lots of friends and family at your wedding, or will you be happy having just your immediate family, attendants and a few close friends? You can always have a small, intimate destination wedding and then host a party or second reception for friends and relatives after you return.

Even if they've told you they can't make it, you should still send wedding invitations to close friends and family members. Plans change, and those who had a conflict may decide later that they can attend. They also might feel slighted if you dont invite them, even if your intent is to spare them from having to send a gift. Some may simply wish to have the invitation as a keepsake, even if they can't come. For a nondestination wedding, I would normally recommend you skip invitations for colleagues or casual acquaintances who've said they can't come—or you might look like you are trolling for presents. (You could send them wedding announcements or second reception invitations instead, which dont require the recipient to buy a gift.) But with the rare exception, destination weddings are small affairs for close friends and relatives in the first place, so do send invitations to the whole save-the-date list.

See all questions about destination weddings

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