Q: Do we have to have a groom's cake? We weren't planning on it.

A: Absolutely not. The groom's cake (which is often a funkier-flavored, hobby-themed ode to your new hubby) started as a Southern tradition, but in recent years it has spread nationwide. But just like almost every other tradition, it's entirely optional. If you and your family are having a tug-of-war about the cake, however (chocolate versus vanilla, carrot versus custard), the groom's cake can be a simple way to satisfy those alternate cravings without upsetting the wedding-cake cart.

See all questions about wedding cakes etiquette

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