Q: Do I have to ask an old friend to be in my bridal party just because I was in hers five years ago?

A: Picking your attendants isn't about payback. It's about including people who supported you and your fiancé as your relationship grew, and who shared in your happiness once you got engaged. The truth is, people change and grow apart. One day you're a bridesmaid in someone's wedding; the next day, you're only a name on her Christmas card list. Chances are your old friend is quite aware that you two are no longer bosom buddies and she'd probably feel funny about accepting a role usually reserved for the bride's current confidantes. Invite her to the wedding—if she's a real friend she'll be thrilled just to be a guest.

See all questions about wedding party etiquette

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