Q: I've heard that one of my bridesmaids has been saying nasty things behind my back—she's criticized the flowers, the food and even the minister! Can I fire her?

A: In a word: no. While there's certainly a possibility that she's been dissing your wedding, there's also the chance that her remarks have been exaggerated or taken out of context, and you need to give her the benefit of the doubt. Try saying something like: "I've heard that you don't like some of the choices I've made for the wedding. If that's true, is there anything I can do to make this a better experience for you?" That leaves the ball in her court. If she's generally unhappy about being in the bridal party, this is her chance to back out. If she has a couple of quibbles, this is an opportunity to discuss them. Either way, getting it out in the open is the best way to bring the back talk to an end.

See all questions about wedding party etiquette

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