Q: I'm worried my 'maids don't realize the costs of being in my wedding. What can I do?

A: "Your friends often don't consider the expense until the bills start to mount," says Jodi R. R. Smith, president of Boston-based Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. That said, Smith suggests you start by letting them know that their expenditures are appreciated. This in itself can go a long way. Then, think about strategies to help keep their costs down. This can include scheduling your shower and bachelorette for the same weekend so your girls don't have to travel twice, seeing if anyone wants to share a room, allowing your bridesmaids to wear shoes they already own with the dress and gifting them with their wedding-day accessories. And finally, tell them all that no wedding gift is necessary. Their presence is their present!

See all questions about wedding party etiquette

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