Q: Can I ask my close friend why she RSVPed "No"?

A: Not if you phrase it diplomatically. But her reason might be embarrassing—perhaps she's having financial trouble and can't afford a gift. If you want to reach out to her, send a short e-mail (a phone call might make her feel put on the spot) saying you're bummed shell miss your wedding but that when youre back from the honeymoon you'd love to grab coffee and catch up. This will give her the chance to reveal her reason without being guilt-tripped by you.

See all questions about family, friends, and guests etiquette

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