Q: We don't want to make people we know can't attend feel bad by sending them an invitation. Also, it might just look like we're asking for a gift. Suggestions?

A: Consider this rule of thumb: If you want people to know that they are included in your wedding plans, send them an invitation. While it's thoughtful to think of your guests (and thrifty to try and cut costs), the decision of whether or not to attend should be left to them. Who knows: They may want to juggle their commitments and make a cameo appearance—but they can only do so if they get invited in the first place.

See all questions about family, friends, and guests etiquette

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