Q: I accidentally saw an e-mail from one of the groomsmen about having strippers at a hotel room for the bachelor party. My fiancé had told me he and the guys were just doing an evening of drinks and pool. How do I let him know that I'm not happy?

A: Have you considered that your fiancé may have thought the bachelor party was going to be a night of eight-ball—not G-strings—and that the groomsmen sprang this change on him at the last minute? Regardless, fess up that you saw the e-mail, then give him a chance to explain without putting him on the defensive. Even if he admits that he was aware of the stripper situation, the important thing to remember is that this is one part of the wedding that you can't control. It's okay to be upset (most women aren't happy about the whole bachelor bash thing), but at the end of the day you just have to trust him.

See all questions about engagement party, bridal shower, and bachelor(ette) parties etiquette

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