Wedding Invitations and Stationery Etiquette and Advice
Our etiquette experts answer all of your wedding invitation-related questions.
Q: My fiancé and I plan to elope to Jamaica. I've read that we're supposed to send out announcements, but I don't know who's supposed to get them or what they should say. Also, when do we mail them?
Q: I've been married before and don't want a big wedding. We'll want to tell friends and family not invited to the wedding that we're married, though. Is it okay to send announcements afterward?
Q: My fiancé's father will not be able to attend our wedding and reception because he'll be stationed overseas. He and my future mother-in-law are divorced, and he is remarried. Should we invite my fiancé's stepmother?
Q: Our invitation reads "Adult Reception." I just received an e-mail from a friend telling me she is bringing her kids. How do I explain to her that I don't want children at my wedding? Or do I just let her bring them?
Q: My single friends are calling and asking to bring dates to our wedding. What should I say?
Q: How do I put both sets of parents on the invite?
Q: How do we indicate that our wedding will be formal, but not black-tie?
Q: I am a teacher and I want to invite my students to the ceremony but not the reception. How do I word the invitation when it's just for the ceremony? I also want to tell them not to buy us a gift.
Q: We're doctors—how do we use our titles?
Q: Is it ok to print our envelopes on a computer?
Q: How can I include my deceased parent on the invitation?
Q: Am I supposed to include my future in-laws on our invites?
Q: We've decided not to serve dinner at our 9:30 p.m. reception following an 8:30 p.m. ceremony. How do we let guests know?
Q: I'm planning a cake-and-champagne reception following our 6:00 p.m. ceremony. Is it in bad taste for the invitation to inform guests that we're not having dinner?
Q: Do we have to send invites to our parents and wedding party?
Q: Besides information about the ceremony, what else should I include in my wedding programs?
Q: Do you have to send out written invitations to the rehearsal dinner?
Q: My mother—who's paying for the wedding—wants the RSVPs to come to her house, but I want them to come to my apartment. What's the best solution?
Q: How far in advance should we send out save-the-date cards? How about the invitations?
Q: Our wedding and reception are taking place in the same location. Can we have a single invitation for both of them?
Q: We're inviting a couple in which the wife is a dentist and the husband doesn't have a professional title. How should we word the outer and inner envelopes on the invitation?
Q: My fiancé and I are paying for the entire wedding ourselves. How do we word our invitations?
Q: My fiancé and I aren't getting married for another two years. Is it too early to submit our engagement annoucement?
Q: How can I turn down my mom's offer to address the invitations?
Q: What should a couple do if their guests aren't sending in their RSVPs on time?
Q: My invitations don't come with inner envelopes, but Mom says I have to have them. Is she right?
Q: My name is Gretchen, and my fiancé is Sam Ashford. Our monogram—don't laugh—will be "GAS." Please tell me we have other options for the cake and invites!
Q: When writing my thank-you notes, what do I say about the hideous vase my aunt gave me?
Q: Is it okay to have guests reply by email? And if you do an email RSVP, do you print it on the invite or a separate card?
Q: Do I have to provide postage on the RSVP cards? We're trying to save some bucks, and this will add up.
Q: I'm getting married in two weeks, and I just bumped into a distant cousin whom I really like, but had completely forgotten to invite to the wedding. The invites have already gone out, but is it acceptable to still send her one? Do I need to explain?
