Four Terrible Things to Tell a Bride-to-Be

Continued (page 2 of 2)

4. "THE WEDDING NIGHT IS GOING TO BE AWESOME!"

There are two main areas of wildly unrealistic expectations for the bride: the wedding and the wedding night.

There's so much lore about wedding nights, and such an assumption that it will be magic. We carefully choose special "wedding" lingerie, imagining some kind of mind-blowing interlude with champagne and strawberries and garter belts. But the truth is, after 10 hours on your feet in pointy shoes, you just want a pair of sweatpants and a sandwich.

Almost every married person I know says they didn't have sex on their wedding night. They were either drunk or sick or just too emotionally and physically exhausted to have an acrobatic night of passion. And frankly, that sounds pretty human to me.

Don't put so much emphasis on Saturday night. The great thing about being married is that you'll still be together Sunday morning.



April Winchell has been a talk radio host, a sitcom writer, an advertising executive and the voice of hundreds of animated Disney characters. In October of 2009, she created the hit website Regretsy.com, which led to the publication of "Regretsy: Where DIY meets WTF" in April of 2010. Even though she has been writing professionally since 1989, she still finds talking about herself in the third person really uncomfortable.

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