You married him, so of course you want to spend your life with him. But every waking moment? Most relationship experts will warn that this might be an unhealthy goal. And if you find that you and your husband have become glued-at-the-hip after the wedding, you might ask yourself if you need a little healthy space (read: an afternoon out with your girlfriends or an overnight getaway to a spa with your sister). Time apart can help keep things alive and fresh and can improve your bond in the long run. Here are a few signs that the two of you may be getting a little too close for comfort:
1. You've lost track of your friends' lives. Remember when you knew every detail of your friends' love lives? How you would keep up with each other like dissecting the latest episode of Scandal? If you've lost track of your nearest and dearest since the wedding, listen, the alarm bells are sounding. Yes, new marriage has a way of being exclusive and inwardly focused for a time, but the happiest couples know that depending on their spouses for everything isn't healthy and keeping their friendships alive and well is key. Who do you need to call to catch up with?
2. You're fighting has increased. Yes, fighting is normal (and here's how to deal with the most common fights in the first year), and most couples have an average of 312 fights a year, according to the latest research (surprising, right?), but if the two of you are bickering more than normal, (especially if the arguments are a bit more heated than "I can't believe you forgot to take out the trash again!") it could be a sign of relationship malaise. The best remedy? A little time apart. Plan a girls night out pronto!
3. You feel sad when he suggests he has plans of his own. One of the biggest benefits of being married is that you'll never have to feel lonely again; you have someone to spend every Saturday night with, someone to dance with at weddings, someone to hold your hand while Christmas shopping, and someone to be there for you, always. But here's a secret to the happiest, most successful couples: Maintaining a life outside of marriage is key. Making a point to regularly see friends (with or without your spouse) and encouraging your spouse to do so when he feels the need can make for the most thriving relationships. Next time he announces that he's having beers with his college buddies, instead of feeling cut out, make plans of your own and see how your confidence (and trust in him) fuels both of your happiness.
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