Just when you thought you were done answering everyone's questions about your wedding, as soon as you tie the knot the inevitable next question on the horizon is, "So, when are you having kids?"
There may not be a truly perfect time to have children, but there are some factors that may help with a smoother transition into parenthood. Here are a few things to do before deciding to have children.
1. Figure out your finances.
As we've all been told, kids are expensive. I'm not saying that in order to have a child your savings account needs to be exploding, but it's important to start cutting back on things that aren't necessities in order to adjust to the new costs.
Look into how much diapers and daycare will cost and what your new monthly expenses would be, then try figuring out ways to make up for that in your day-to-day spending. Things like dry cleaning, expensive gym memberships, daily Starbucks, and lots of dinners out can add up. You'd be surprised what cutting back on those could do to help with the baby budget!
2. Put extra time into your relationship.
If you think having a child will somehow "fix" any problems you may have in your relationship, think again. It truly takes a strong team to tackle the hurdles a newborn baby throws at you. Your patience and communication will be tested. Any problems you may have had as a family of two will become glaring when it becomes three. So, it's very important that you iron out these issues before trying to do so on little sleep.
For me, marriage didn't change much in my relationship. I just sported a new ring. But having a baby is a true lifestyle change. Don't rush. Take the trips you want to take, stay out late and get it out of your system. Not that your old life stops when you have a child, but it's definitely different. Going out requires a lot more than just picking out a restaurant. It now requires having a baby sitter and finding a place to pump your breast milk!
3. Know that you can't plan everything.
Lots of people say you shouldn't have a baby until you are "ready." Thankfully, my mom told me that no one is ever one hundred percent ready to have kids. I'm four months into this and still don't think I am! But, sink or swim, you just dive in headfirst and do the best you can.
And lastly, although you may think you are ready-ish, doesn't mean it's going to happen right away. I thought I could just flip a switch when I wanted to get pregnant, but it ended up taking us a year and a half to conceive. While you can plan a wedding, you definitely can't plan a pregnancy. And that was a hard to pill to swallow for me.
So when exactly is the right time to have kids? Just trust that it will happen whenever and however it's supposed to happen.