Do you crave some early-morning action while your man is ready and rearing to go at midnight? According to experts, you're not alone. In fact, "differing sexual desires or 'schedules' is a very common challenge that couples face," says Debra Herbenick, PhD, associate professor at Indiana University and author of The Coregasm Workout. "Some people are night owls and stay up late working or watching TV, and they may prefer late-night sex. If their spouse goes to bed early and prefers morning sex, there may be a mismatch."
So what's a couple who wants a healthy sex life to do? Every couple may find their own unique solution to their scheduling conflicts, but there are a few tricks everyone should try.
"Don't try to change the other person," Herbenick advises. "Just try to adjust!" While being understanding of each other's different desires and schedules can test your patience, "try to recognize even small improvements — your sex lives won't change immediately," she says.
Compare when each of you is turned on, and see if you can find any common ground. "Try to find at least one time during the week that's good for the both of you," Herbenick says. "That's a great starting place, and when you get the time to be sexually intimate, it can help you feel closer."
And as cheesy as it sounds, setting aside a weekly date night can ensure you have sex at least once a week. "This option isn't for everyone, but it works for a surprising number of couples," says Herbenick. "Scheduling sex doesn't mean you're boring — it means you're committed!"