We're the first to acknowledge that it's a huge deal to plan a wedding. The enormous expense. The multitude of decisions to make. The cast of characters you need to please.
But come on, ladies! You are competent, capable women. You hold down challenging fulltime jobs. You accomplish difficult feats on a daily basis. If your wedding was just another highly detailed, year-long work project, you'd define your tasks, create your workflow, and check things off as needed. No big deal: just another long-term project in your life that needs to get done.
We see brides get bogged down in wedding planning all the time. Competent, capable women flooded by stress of choosing flowers, guest lists and bridesmaids dresses. Brides who turn small decisions into big dramas. Level-headed women who become crazy-obsessed with tracking down every possible choice of chair-cover bows.
Some brides use the intensity of wedding planning as a diversionary tactic. Diverting from what? From the bigger, deeper emotional work at hand. It's more fun to research your options for aisle runners than it is to confront your inner feelings of ending your single life. It appears more urgent to finalize your registry than to deal with your vulnerability around becoming married. But dealing with these emotional items are as essential — if not more so — to your getting married than any wedding detail you can cross off your list.
So if maybe, just maybe, you've gone off the deep-end with focus and obsession with wedding details — take a step back. Step away from the planning, and take a good long look inside yourself.
Allison Moir-Smith, MA, is a bridal counselor, creator of How Brides-To-Be REALLY Feel videos, and author of Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the "Happiest" Time of Her Life.