When it comes to sex tips for married couples, a few simple, sexy tricks can light a fire under your sex life. You don’t necessarily need to buy a bunch of fancy sex toys or offer to drip hot wax on your body to reinvigorate your sex life.
Just do a few very easy things and you’ll blow your partner’s mind in bed. Simple as that.
Send a few raunchy texts
Sexting is a good precursor to the main event, aka: the sex that is coming later. The great thing about sexting is that you can say whatever you want without fear of an awkward silence. You can be more adventurous and just go for it.
Instead of sending your regular, “Can’t wait to get you naked” sext, opt for something truly raunchy. Send a sext so hot it burns your lips to write it.
Explain in explicit detail exactly what you want your partner to do to you later. Add as many adjectives as possible. Don’t be afraid to get weird. You’re in this until death do you part, remember?
Wait for your partner naked
When your partner walks in the door, be waiting for him or her nude.
After a long day at the office, coming home to you totally in the buff is going to make your partner’s day. Even if you skip sex and just give him or her a naked massage, you will be the winner of the hour.
Drag out foreplay
We’re all so busy that it’s easy to skip the build up and jump right into sex. Maintenance sex is important in facilitating a close bond with your partner, but that doesn’t mean it should be the only sex you have. Be sure you set aside some time for really slow, passionate sex a few times per month.
On a Saturday or Sunday (we get it, the week is busy), designate a full 30 minutes solely to foreplay. Start with a sexy massage, explore each other’s bodies. This will give you a chance to connect on a deep emotional level, which in turn will up the passion (and, of course, the orgasm).
Offer some no-strings oral
I’ll be the first to admit that I give head to get head. It’s natural to desire reciprocation. Instead, this time offer oral sex without any need for your partner to return it. This takes the pressure off of him or her and allows them to lie back and enjoy the experience fully. Nothing is sexier than your partner showing total interest in your pleasure. It’s a huge turn on to make your partner feel good.
Bring a toy into bed
Sex toys up the ante on pleasure. We’re not necessarily talking about a giant dildo or anal beads (unless you want to!); a simple finger vibe will do. They are non-scary, fun add-ons to your already wonderful sex life.
A small finger vibrator is ideal for both clitoral stimulation and a little ball sack/perineum love. It’s a fabulous addition to any sexual experience and, not to be dramatic, but they make for mindbending orgasmic awakenings.
Make a super sexy fantasy come true
Take mental notes whenever you partner mentions a fantasy he or she has. Does he want to play the handy man who arrives to fix your pipes? Is she a police officer here to investigate a noise complaint?
You don’t have to hit up a costume store and buy a full outfit if you don’t want to. You can easily make a costume from things lying around your house. Half of fantasy is the imagination. This role play surprise will not only turn your partner on, but will make him or her feel appreciated since you really listened.
Add in some friendly spanking
Spanking is dipping your toes into kink without taking the full plunge. Make sure your partner is into spanking before you go buckwild. Some people enjoy it while others do not, and surprising someone during sex can get weird...
If you know he or she likes spanking, go for it. It sends shockwaves through the whole sexual encounter. Start light and build up to more aggressive strokes.
Use a makeshift blindfold
In the same vein as spanking, try using a tee shirt or sleep mask as a blindfold. It’s a little light bondage that rarely freaks anyone out.
Lie your partner down, cover his or her eyes and take some time to explore their body. The visual deprivation can be a huge turn on and can heighten your other senses.
Tell your partner how sexy he or she is
If dirty talk is something you’re not comfortable with, that’s OK. You don’t have to talk about your partner’s hard/wet body parts. Instead, just tell him or her how sexy he or she is and how much what they’re doing turns you on.
Sex is a vulnerable position to be in. You’re both naked and want to feel good about yourselves while making each other feel good. Validating your partner’s sexual prowess is a good way to stay connected and keep both of you in the moment.
Gigi Engle is a sex educator and writer living in NYC. Her work has appeared on Elle, Teen Vogue, Glamour, Allure, Marie Claire, NBC and Bustle.