Some grooms get away with just showing up for the wedding pre-parties and being where they're supposed to be, when they're supposed to be there, and wearing what they're supposed to be wearing on the wedding day. If the bride doesn't mind that the groom isn't participating in the planning, there's nothing wrong with that scenario. But even when that's all the groom wants to do, there are a few things he must do:
1. The groom is responsible for getting the guest list (with correct salutations and addresses) from his parents. He's also responsible for tracking down all of his own friends' addresses that the bride wouldn't have in her own phone book.
2. Making sure the groomsmen have been invited to be members of the wedding party, know what they have to wear, show up for fittings as necessary, and have all the details about the schedule is the responsibility of the groom. He can ask his best man to help coordinate, but it's definitely on him to make sure things are done.
3. Traditionally, the groom gives the bride a wedding gift of some kind (and vice versa). He's responsible for buying something special, making sure it's wrapped and has a heartfelt note attached to it. If they don't exchange gifts the night before like many couples do, he should have the gift delivered to the bride while she's getting ready on the wedding day.
4. The groom is responsible for dealing with his own family. If his sisters cause issues regarding the bridesmaid dresses or his mother is driving the bride crazy, the groom should be the one to have a one-on-one with whoever is causing stress and solve the problem.
5. The groom is responsible for tracking down missing RSVPs from his side of the guest list. Even if it includes getting their dinner orders. The bride and the groom should each do the follow-ups for their own half of the list.
Owner of Weddings in Vieques, a destination-wedding planning company off the coast of Puerto Rico, Sandy Malone has helped countless couples plan their big day since 2007.